That looks familiar
He: What kind of bug is that? (points at dot crawling across the ceiling)
Me: A dead one.
He: (crushes bug) Huh. You were right.
Me: Yeah, it looked a lot like the other dead bugs I've seen in the past.
True stories... only funnier.
He: What kind of bug is that? (points at dot crawling across the ceiling)
Me: A dead one.
He: (crushes bug) Huh. You were right.
Me: Yeah, it looked a lot like the other dead bugs I've seen in the past.
With love, from
Roses
at
7:00 AM
1 Say Thbbbt!
Labels: C'mon that's funny, Light of My Life
Today's mail included a flyer from Jeep.
I handed the envelope to The Husband.
Me: Look. Your girlfriend sent you a letter.
He: The Jeep is not my girlfriend. It's my buddy.
Me: No. The Jeep is your girlfriend. You keep talking about taking its top off.
With love, from
Roses
at
7:53 PM
0
Say Thbbbt!
Labels: C'mon that's funny, Light of My Life
I do not have a problem with spiders. I'm more likely to relocate a spider rather than crush it.
However, I have a problem with the conversation The Husband and I had at 4am today:
He: You'll be happy to know I killed the biggest spider I've ever seen in my life. It was so big, I thought it was a mouse at first.
Me: No. I am not happy to know that.
He: But it's dead.
Me: But it might have friends or family.
Where did you find this mouse-spider?
He: In the kitchen.
Me: Yeah, I won't be falling back asleep anymore this morning.
With love, from
Roses
at
7:06 AM
2
Say Thbbbt!
Labels: Light of My Life
The Husband was reviewing the progress of his plants on the seed-starting table when we had this exchange:
He: I need to thin my melons...
Me: That's... what *she* said?
He: ...or put them in a bigger container.
Me: THAT's what SHE said!
With love, from
Roses
at
8:52 PM
0
Say Thbbbt!
Labels: C'mon that's funny, Light of My Life
The Husband and I had gotten separated, so I had to backtrack through the store to find him.
With love, from
Roses
at
7:00 AM
0
Say Thbbbt!
Labels: C'mon that's funny, Light of My Life
We are discussing how long it'll take to self-clean the oven, and who will stay home to monitor the process.
He: I have a meeting this morning. Will you be home for the next 5 hours?
Me: Where would I go without you, babe?
He: Crazy?
Me: Well sure, but I can do that at home.
With love, from
Roses
at
9:51 AM
2
Say Thbbbt!
Labels: C'mon that's funny, Light of My Life
He: Can we buy this container?
Me: It's kinda big and awkward. What would we use it for?
He: We can put our fresh vegetables in it.
Me: We have a whole drawer in the fridge for fresh vegetables.
He: We can put celery in this one. It'll keep it from getting all wilty.
Me: Okay.
![]() |
The box is completely empty, btw. |
With love, from
Roses
at
6:29 AM
1 Say Thbbbt!
Labels: Light of My Life
The Husband recruited Elder Son to help put up the storm windows this year.
Me: I feel better when there are two of you out there working with those heavy windows.
He: Only one of us can go up the ladder, you know.
Me: I know. It just makes me feel better that you have help.
He: Hey, the first ten years we lived here, I did it all by myself!
Me: Right. But first ten years we lived here, the guy who went up the ladder was 40-something.
Oh!
Yes, a good burn.
But I helped wash the windows because I felt so bad.
With love, from
Roses
at
8:53 PM
1 Say Thbbbt!
Labels: C'mon that's funny, Light of My Life
How awesome is it that The Husband and Elder Son are both working today?
It is super awesome!
Why?
Both of them are headed toward the same Labor Day event to cover it for their separate media companies.
The Husband is recording it from behind a microphone for radio.
Elder Son is recording it from behind a video camera for television.
How cool it that?
THAT is totally freaking cool, is what that is.
With love, from
Roses
at
12:14 PM
1 Say Thbbbt!
Labels: Da Boys, Light of My Life
It is 8:30 Sunday morning. I have just gotten out of bed; The Husband has been awake for a couple hours.
He: I spread some weed n feed on the lawn while the grass is still wet, and I brought in the newspaper for you. I'm gonna go to town for bacon. I hope to be back in time to make breakfast for Younger Son before he leaves for work.
Me: I'm gonna work on getting dressed. I hope to be done by noon.
With love, from
Roses
at
9:15 AM
1 Say Thbbbt!
Labels: C'mon that's funny, Light of My Life
I walk in to find The Husband watching a movie on Netflix. He explains that he picked this movie not because Netflix rated it highly, and not because it features Martin Sheen and Charlie Sheen, but because there was an unknown Uncle Sheen listed in the cast. The Husband was merely curious about this uncle, he says.
With love, from
Roses
at
4:38 AM
0
Say Thbbbt!
Labels: Light of My Life
The Husband is cooking today, and he is giving instruction to Elder Son as he goes.
The Husband is very thorough with details; for example, he explains why he never cuts fresh meat on a wooden cutting board preferring to use a plain dinner plate instead.
Elder Son is attentive; he nods and expresses understanding in almost inaudible mm-hm's.
I am studying for classes at the kitchen table, but I can't help overhear the entire cooking lesson.
When the Husband pauses and Elder Son nods and grunts, I chime in, "There will be a test later."
The Husband remarks, "No. I just want to explain why I do everything this way."
"I'm talking about real life. That's your test," I say. "Fortunately, it's all open book. You can phone a friend."
With love, from
Roses
at
11:49 AM
0
Say Thbbbt!
Labels: Light of My Life
I'm about to pop a chewable Vitamin C into my mouth when my co-workers chime in.
He: You're not supposed to chew Vitamin C. The acid eats through your teeth.
Me: I wanted dentures anyway.
Other co-worker: (something about wooden teeth)
Me: The Husband is whittling me a set of those right now.
He: You two are an interesting pair.
With love, from
Roses
at
4:56 PM
0
Say Thbbbt!
Labels: C'mon that's funny, Light of My Life
We're finally remodeling the bathroom.
Weeks ago, the Husband and I pulled down the old wallpaper. Odd schedules and unexpected events have kept us from moving forward very quickly. We've been staring at ugly, worn 20-year-old orange peel textured paint since mid-August.
There's an empty space where the bathroom clock used to hang.
Every day (and several times each day) I look up at that spot to see what time it is. But there's no clock there. And I feel foolish.
When I mentioned it to him, the Husband admitted he did the same thing.
So tonight, I hung this:
With love, from
Roses
at
8:00 PM
3
Say Thbbbt!
Labels: C'mon that's funny, Light of My Life
The Husband warns the boys that the driveway and sidewalk need to be shoveled tonight.
"It'll take about half an hour with the three of us working on it," he says.
"I'll come out and help, too," I says.
"Okay," he says. And he says to the boys, "It'll take about 40 minutes then with the four of us."
After I stop laughing, I says, "It takes longer because one of you has to carry your mother's shovel. You know, like when we play Super Mario Brothers on the Wii, and one of you has to carry my character."
The boys just nod.
With love, from
Roses
at
6:31 PM
1 Say Thbbbt!
Labels: C'mon that's funny, Da Boys, Light of My Life
I wanna know why the same males who can arrange different sized and shaped LEGOs to build elaborate brick creations cannot figure out how to stack nesting Tupperware in the cupboard.
With love, from
Roses
at
4:00 PM
1 Say Thbbbt!
Labels: Da Boys, Light of My Life
Imagine you are The Husband, and your yammering (yet adorably charming) wife insists on talking to you even as you are drifting off to sleep. This is what a recent night's conversation would have sounded like...
She: What is that noise?
You: What?
She: That noise. Is that a bird? A frog? A squirrel? What?
You: (listens for a moment) I don't know. (drifts off to sleep)
She: Because it doesn't stop.
You: Mm... (drifts off to sleep)
She: It's like someone scraping bark off a tree or something.
You: Hm? Oh... (drifts off to sleep)
She: I wonder if I was fluent at Morse Code, would I hear just random scraping noises, or would I hear letters being spelled out?
You: What?
She: Because it's two or three short scrapes and one long pause. Like Morse Code.
You: Oh. Yeah... (drifts off to sleep)
She: It's probably the same two letters over and over.
You: Ungh... (drifts off to sleep)
She: It's probably "F" and "U".
You: Ha! Haa ha... (drifts off to sleep)
The next morning, you wake up and realize she stopped talking / waking you up / being adorable right after her joke, and you wonder if you'd have just laughed in the first place, maybe she'd have stopped talking a whole lot sooner.
With love, from
Roses
at
7:00 AM
2
Say Thbbbt!
Labels: C'mon that's funny, Light of My Life
Before work, The Husband watches TV news while he drinks his coffee.
There are two networks he usually toggles between.
This morning, he was having trouble navigating back and forth.
He: Oh, no wonder! I'm holding the clicker backwards.
Me: That explains why all the news was good.
With love, from
Roses
at
7:00 AM
3
Say Thbbbt!
Labels: C'mon that's funny, Light of My Life
Our yes-I-did-no-you-didn't conversation continued through the bank lobby. Since The Husband and I were the only patrons, we took our separate banking transactions to two different tellers who were amused by our bickering.
Teller #1: Now, now. No fighting, you two.
Teller #2: Oh, you're no fun. Let them keep at it.
Husband: (gestures to himself and me) Oh, we're not together.
Me: ... anymore.
With love, from
Roses
at
7:08 AM
1 Say Thbbbt!
Labels: C'mon that's funny, Light of My Life
I love waking up with The Husband on weekends because we have conversations like this:
He: I was just having a fantasy.
Me: Was I in it?
He: Yes. You were making me coffee in a French maid's outfit.
Me: I can try to do that, honey, but it would be easier to make you coffee in a coffee maker.
(Yes, we really *do* have conversations like this. In fact, we talk like this so often that The Husband actually said the punchline along with me as I delivered it.)
With love, from
Roses
at
7:00 AM
1 Say Thbbbt!
Labels: C'mon that's funny, Light of My Life