tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-298333162024-03-27T01:36:28.005-05:00ACK! THBBBT!True stories... only funnier.Roseshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07027536960284875200noreply@blogger.comBlogger1815125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29833316.post-83546660500364423012024-03-23T17:12:00.002-05:002024-03-23T17:16:59.370-05:00Suits: The Drinking GameWhile watching the TV show Suits, take a drink everytime:- there's a conversation in a bathroom- anyone exits a scene by walking toward the camera- Donna says, "I'm Donna."- someone is interrupted while saying, "Before you say anything..."- Donna enters the room out of nowhere and offers her opinion on a conversation that she had not been a part ofRoseshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07027536960284875200noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29833316.post-82364277062611697462024-02-12T21:37:00.001-06:002024-02-12T21:37:37.685-06:00This Is Not Your RoomA gentle reminder to spiders and ants,You get to live in my house provided you stay in your designated areas. These areas include: - in the walls - behind major appliances - under pieces of furniture where cat toys can't fitI believe I have been generous in this agreement given that I also allow you residence in closets, the basement, and the garage provided you clear the Roseshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07027536960284875200noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29833316.post-14853878958462571562024-01-19T19:30:00.000-06:002024-01-19T19:30:00.127-06:00HairSomeone on Facebook asked what kinds of non-food things people anxiously chewed on as a kid, and it triggered a fast, steep rabbit hole of rude awakening.My answer to the question was, "My hair."When I was a kid, I used to tug a lock of hair across my cheek, and chew/suck on it out of the corner of my mouth.I didn't think anything of it at the time. Some kids chewed their fingernails; I chewed myRoseshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07027536960284875200noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29833316.post-30000547686960796752024-01-18T19:11:00.002-06:002024-01-18T19:56:48.674-06:00TowelsElder Son came over to do his laundry. He had two loads worth.He: I'll be done soon. The second load is done washing. I'm just waiting for the first load to dry.Me: Your second load has the towels?He: Yeah.Me: Towels are thicker. They're gonna take longer to dry than the first load.He: But. They're towels. They're supposedto *do* the drying.Roseshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07027536960284875200noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29833316.post-9913299252268937422024-01-14T16:44:00.005-06:002024-01-18T19:58:55.454-06:00Kindness of Strangers Spoiler: *We* are the strangers It is cold today. The high temp is expected to be -1C, and there's a -27 wind chill. The Husband reluctantly left the house to fill his car with gas. Before he left, he layered up with thermal undergarments and extra headwear.He dressed this way to DRIVE somewhere. It. Is. Cold. So, you understand how odd it must have been when later I saw a man Roseshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07027536960284875200noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29833316.post-90091427811855426342024-01-14T10:43:00.001-06:002024-01-14T10:43:42.789-06:00Dad Would've Liked This CatDear Dad,You'd be happy to know that Cat 3.0 sticks his head into my bedroom at 8am every weekend and shouts at me, "You gonna sleep all day?"Love you and miss you,~RosesRoseshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07027536960284875200noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29833316.post-56019649897755060892024-01-07T20:08:00.001-06:002024-01-07T20:08:26.930-06:00Mirror Mirror on the WallThe Husband and I are trying to figure out how best to position our full-length oval mirror.The Husband holds the mirror up against the wall next to the closet."We could put it here," he says, "so it's convenient for getting dressed."I say, "That's perfect."Then he turns it sideways. "And if you gain weight, we can do this." ๐I say, "Sure, but WHERE WOULD YOU SLEEP?" ๐คจRoseshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07027536960284875200noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29833316.post-66073546810955125342024-01-03T19:52:00.003-06:002024-01-18T20:00:25.831-06:00ClosedThe Husband and I went out for breakfast the day after Christmas. We debated whether to walk to our favorite place or drive there, then decided to drive just to save time. The restaurant was closed, not because it was the day after Christmas, but because it's always closed on Tuesdays. We had forgotten.And we were grateful we had taken a car rather than walk all the way there only to be Roseshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07027536960284875200noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29833316.post-73796210290724414862023-12-26T23:30:00.002-06:002023-12-26T23:32:39.441-06:00Stop Chastising Yourself TodayA conversation between The Husband and a co-worker turned to the subject of sobriety. The Husband jokingly reminisced about "the good old days" before there were drunk driving laws and Uber. He remarked how simple it was for him and his buddies just to hop in the car after a night at the bar.The co-worker was not amused. "You mean to tell me you drove drunk? Don't you realize that rant rant Roseshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07027536960284875200noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29833316.post-22409036092091103382023-12-14T09:54:00.004-06:002023-12-16T08:04:42.424-06:00All You Need To KnowCompany party was last night. Fancy wine bar. The large front windows were decorated with flat plastic Christmas ornaments hanging from suction cups. The hostess ushered us past the window to the banquet area, and I covertly reached over and poked one ornament into a gentle sway. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed my direct supervisor right behind me had clearly seen what I'd done.Over my Roseshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07027536960284875200noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29833316.post-89868460953115245062023-12-13T12:28:00.004-06:002024-01-18T20:02:40.570-06:00Dress UpCompany party is tomorrow.Coworker: Let's all dress to the nines!Me: Best I can do is four and a half, maybe five.Roseshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07027536960284875200noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29833316.post-78479579847338840682023-11-16T18:44:00.002-06:002023-11-17T06:36:58.437-06:00Something's Burning, But It Ain't Midnight OilThe Husband has gone to bed.I'm cozied up on the couch in the dark thinking, "Heh, I'm gonna be naughty and stay up late on a work night binge watching my favorite show for a couple more hours."Um...It's 6:30, y'all.It's so dark out, and I'm so tired. But it's only 6:30.So, my rebel act of watching Netflix for a couple of hours means I'm plotting deviously to stay up UNTIL 8:30!!!Dang, I have Roseshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07027536960284875200noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29833316.post-22980707706185133392023-10-17T20:35:00.001-05:002023-10-17T20:35:02.435-05:00Stir the PotI asked a coworker a question that we both knew she was not allowed to answer. However, she knew someone else who had no such restrictions.She: You know what? You need to befriend Alan. He's a pot-stirrer.Me: Ooo! And I have a spoon!Roseshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07027536960284875200noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29833316.post-9728062434291823442023-10-05T09:15:00.001-05:002023-10-05T09:15:31.394-05:00Sweet Dreams ๐ทIt's 4am. The Husband moments away from leaving for work; I am moments away from going back to bed.He: I found a GIANT black spider in our bedroom yesterday.Me: WHY would you tell me this now?He: But I killed it.Me: You killed the one you saw.He: Me: Guess I'm not going to sleep now. Or ever again.(It's okay. I slept.)Roseshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07027536960284875200noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29833316.post-12801234046359347752023-09-25T22:59:00.001-05:002023-09-25T22:59:55.518-05:00HelpNeed your help.What do you say or do for someone you care about who's in a physically abusive relationship?And is in denial about it?"But she's not always that way.""It's my fault. I made her mad.""She's really sorry."All the cliques. What do you do?Roseshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07027536960284875200noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29833316.post-40204794311375139622023-09-23T11:05:00.006-05:002023-10-01T18:26:18.341-05:00Grief Counseling Imagine you are standing at the edge of a dark, dense forest. The ground behind you has fallen away, you cannot go back the way you came. There is no way to skirt around the forest ahead; you must enter it or exist forever where you are.Next to you are four people to give you counsel.The first person says, "When I went through this forest, it was awful. I got lost and wandered in circles for the Roseshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07027536960284875200noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29833316.post-47213401426881112712023-09-12T21:35:00.001-05:002023-09-12T21:35:43.734-05:00Long Week, and it's only TuesdayMore than one person today commented how It's been a long week. I, for one, have been a super cranky pants. The Husband, who normally would never say so, has said so.What is it with this week?Roseshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07027536960284875200noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29833316.post-76661547592269447972023-08-26T13:15:00.002-05:002023-08-26T18:52:13.121-05:00This Soda Says LoveThese might look like regular bottles of soda to you, but they are a representation of how The Husband is the most thoughtful, wonderful man. Let me explain...
He called me at work. "I'm stopping at the grocery store on my way home. You need anything?"I requested some Dr. Pepper.When I got home, this is how the soda was set on the counter with one bottle of Dr. Pepper missing from the Roseshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07027536960284875200noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29833316.post-17622121572399322922023-08-12T12:30:00.001-05:002023-08-12T12:30:51.745-05:00Who What Where When Why-FiI tried to connect to Younger Son's wi-fi while cat-sitting for him this weekend. He and his neighbors are quite clever.Here are some of my connection choices:
Roseshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07027536960284875200noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29833316.post-51433648296341793122023-08-09T18:57:00.001-05:002023-08-09T18:57:16.404-05:00Many Words With Many FriendsI spent a good part of today trying to find a couple who could come to a Friday night show with The Husband and me. We already paid for 4 tickets, so we needed to find two more people.I went through darned near every local contact stored in my phone. I reached out to people I hadn't heard from in over a year. The Husband and I were getting so desperate, we discussed GOING OUTSIDE and Roseshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07027536960284875200noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29833316.post-25292980592057655682023-08-09T00:05:00.006-05:002023-11-17T06:50:20.036-06:00Barney On His WayBarney, the man I left behind when I moved from Michigan to Wisconsin, continues to pop up in my dreams. His appearance often represents things that aren't related to the relationship we had. Rather, he has represented other things I left behind when I transitioned from living a life under my family's umbrella to living a life truly on my own.Barney and I ran into each other in my dreams once Roseshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07027536960284875200noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29833316.post-34859562332384210462023-08-06T06:13:00.002-05:002023-08-06T06:16:50.359-05:00Brownie PowerThere was a special work event last week. The company bought lunch. Included was a giant platter of decadent, caramel-topped brownies cut 3 inches square.These things were HUGE!I'd greedily consumed half of my brownie by the time a co-worker across the table from me declared, "Oh, this is too rich. I'm out."Another dropped her fork. "Yeah, I'm struggling.""Quitters!" I said. "I'm powering throughRoseshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07027536960284875200noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29833316.post-56204550911887319872023-08-03T22:53:00.002-05:002023-08-04T07:48:35.291-05:00To Sleep, Perchance to DreamThings that are keeping me from sleeping tonight:1) People die so randomly. It would be much more simple if everyone would leave in the same order they entered.2) Bunch of work garbage. Too many changes over the past year. Too few answers to why the things under my responsibility are not performing well. Trying to focus on the reasons and not the excuses.3) I don't feel well. I don't feel ill, Roseshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07027536960284875200noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29833316.post-30408136185798081722023-07-30T19:48:00.003-05:002023-08-06T11:21:59.948-05:00Kitty Play DateAs promised, Elder Son brought his cat along when he came home to do laundry this weekend.His cat headed straight for the litter box and pooped in it.Then she made a beeline for the food dish and told me it was empty. (It was not.)She then strolled casually around the house, silently judging the changes that have happened since she'd last been here.The whole while, Cat 3.0 followed her. Giving Roseshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07027536960284875200noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29833316.post-87741696066171518132023-07-22T13:07:00.007-05:002023-08-06T11:25:20.707-05:00Elder Son's Moving Experience Elder Son took his time moving into his new apartment. His new apartment, interestingly enough, is Younger Son's old apartment; YS and his girlfriend left it to take a two-bedroom place across town.It was a perfect situation, really.Elder Son has an inconsistent gig income right now, so a traditional financial background check that rental agencies do would disqualify his application in most casesRoseshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07027536960284875200noreply@blogger.com0