Letting Go - The 4th of July Chapter

Normally, I feel responsible to let my adult sons when there's a local event happening that they might enjoy. When they were small, they depended on The Husband and me to provide transportation and permissions to such things. I also subscribe to media sources that promote these kinds of things, and I doubt my sons do. In this way, I feel like a good mom by keeping them informed so they don't miss out.

Top of the list of events we never want to miss is 4th of July community festivities.

As a young family, we went to the parade together, to the carnival together, and to the fireworks. All together.

When the boys were old enough and responsible enough, we let them go to the carnival with friends.

But always, they seemed to rely on me to tell them when things were happening and where to meet us.

This year, for the first time, for no real reason, I did not send either boy one single message about the parade, carnival, or fireworks. The Husband and I made our own plans to watch the parade with friends. We did not go to the carnival at all. And we walked down to the park to watch fireworks, we took only two chairs with us.

There was a large part of me that worried the boys had thought festivities weren't going to start until the weekend. I was afraid they'd reach out to me on Saturday asking what time the parade and fireworks were scheduled to start, when in fact they'd all been on Thursday. And they'd missed it. And they'd be sad. And I'd have been a bad mom for not reminding them as I usually do.

The Husband told me, and I told myself, that our children are adults. They've experienced the 4th of July in our town for 20+ years. They'd figure it out. And if they didn't, it wasn't our responsibility. 

But still.

I'm the mom. Feeling is what I do.

As it turned out, Younger Son texted me late Thursday afternoon to ask if we had bug spray. He and his girlfriend came by to spray down because they were going to meet friends at the park for the fireworks. Then, as The Husband and I stepped out of the house to walk to the park ourselves, Elder Son pulled up to our house with a carload of friends. They were also on their way to the park, and just wanted a good parking spot.

Both boys had watched the parade with friends. Both boys had made plans for carnival and fireworks.

And they hadn't need me to do any of it.

As I lay awake Thursday night listening to all the neighborhood combustibles, I sighed the relieved sigh of a contented mother.

My boys had taken care of themselves and had enjoyed all the parts of the holiday that I had known were important to them. I need to worry no more.

My job here is done.

I can let go of this feeling of responsibility.