I'm Here For Me

I'm 56 years old and halfway through a year-long Invisalign treatment. I'm a little older than your traditional orthodontic patient. Looking at me sitting in the lobby, you would assume I am waiting for my grandkid to finish his check-up. 

I had an appointment at a new ortho office earlier this week. On the drive there, I imagined how the receptionist might greet me. I imagined she would smile at me, check her list of names and ask, "Who are you here for?"

And my imagined response would be, "I'm here for me."

The moment these four words popped into my head, they burned onto my heart.

I'm here for me.

Moments from my past flashed through my mind. Moments that I accomplished things no one else could do for me.

Taking my drivers test.

My first job interview.

My first out of state job.

My second out of state job. The one in the place that made me want to lay down new roots and grow there. The place where, after I was fired from that job and could have moved back home, I chose to stay because I liked who I was there.

"You moved here from Michigan? What for? You follow a boyfriend?"

No. I'm here for me.

Going to college. Four different times until I finished. Trudging across campus through the worst snow storms for 11 semesters. Working full time during the day and doing homework past my bedtime. 

No one told me I had to do it. On the contrary, people asked me why I bothered. 

I'm here for me.

I like the sound of that.

There's a popular kitschy phrase out there that goes, "She believed she could, so she did." I have a canvas of it hanging in my work cubicle, and I almost stenciled it on my graduation cap.

But I think I like "I'm here for me" better.

I'm not here for anyone else.

I'm not here because someone told me to be here or do this.

I'm not even here for the money.

I'm here because this is where I want to be, doing what I want to do.

I'm here for me.