The First Day Without Our Beloved Cat
So...
Only today I realized that I'd never had to work from home without Our Beloved Cat sleeping on the chair next to me. He climbed up there on day one of the Safer At Home directive, and he showed up for work every day after.
Only today I realized how often I'd reached over to pet him throughout the work day.
But now he's not here.
I was absolutely lost today. At random times
I stopped working for no reason. Frozen. Staring into space. Certain I
was about to do something, but no idea what it was.
It took me half the day to understand that I was looking for his comfort and not finding it. It hadn't registered until today how many times during a normal day I had stopped working to
stroke the warm, napping kitty for self-comfort and to relieve stress. It had become such a habit, I wasn't aware I was doing it.... until I couldn't.
::sigh::
I'm not proud to admit it, but I dug this out of storage to hug and skritch.
Yes. It is a crutch. But I need it.
Don't tell The Husband.
2 comments:
I get it. Buddah's only been gone a couple of weeks and I still see him from the corner of my eye, and today after I buttered toast I set the knife--with lots of butter on it--right where I always set it for him to lick. I damn near lost it. Those little fur monsters just become a part of us and I don't think we feel how big a part until it's gone. I hate this part of the whole thing. Wouldn't change it for the world, but this part is hard.
As The Husband says, this part being hard is a testament to how we had something really good.
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