"Crazy" is right

Whoever invented crazy straws should be shot.

They clutter up my utensil drawer.
There's no way to make them lay flat and stay that way.
They wriggle up and jam the drawer.

And the kids will never throw them out.

I remember when straws were PAPER!
You used them once, they got all soggy, and then you threw them out.
Gimmee a paper crazy straw, man.

Or even those new cereal straws!
Have you seen these?
Again, use them once, you're done with them.

Someday, when children to move out to college, I will send them weekly care packages full of their own junk.
Slowly emptying my house of it.

They'll think I'm sending them a nice slice of home.

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Happy back to school, folks!