The Pajama Pants are a Lie

I don't know how many years I've been wearing these pajama bottoms, but it's been a while. The elastic has lost most of its oomph, so last night I finally decided to employ the drawstrings.

... and learned the drawstrings, for all of these years, have been cosmetic only. They are just two pieces of string sewn to the front of the pants.

And I never even noticed.

Fake drawstrings!

What nonsense is this?

These things have been hanging down in front of my crotch for years. They were an annoyance. Most of the time I tucked them inside the waistband to get them out of the way.

And now, when I actually want to employ them, you're telling me they have absolutely no function whatsoever?

First you give us fake pockets and pockets that are too shallow to do anything, and now you give us fake drawstrings?

O.m.g. Women's clothing makes no sense.