How Heavy Was It?

When I walked into the employee break room, two co-workers were talking about moving furniture.  Specifically, they were talking about how awkward to carry and how heavy sleeper sofas are.

Co-worker One remarked, "...because they're heavy as sh!t."

I nonchalantly snapped ice cubes out of a tray while they continued with the furniture talk, but as soon as there was a pause, I spoke up.
"My biggest concern is the weight of One's sh!t if it is, indeed, as heavy as a sleeper sofa."

Several moments passed while the two of them processed what I had said.
And tried to wrap their heads around the fact that the lady as old as their mother had said it.

I nonchalantly dropped the ice cubes into my Thermos as I waited.
Unapologetic.

When they finally spoke, it was rapid fire.
"It's not the weight so much as it's the shock wave when it lands."
"Like a T-Rex."
"You see the vibration in your water glass."
"Holy cow!  Was that an earthquake?"
"I'm pretty sure I was the cause of a reactor meltdown once."
"I think you're also responsible for a tsunami or two."

Hm.
I may regret setting this kind of precedent.