Fair warning

I'm not going to blame parents if their teen/pre-teen is sneaking out of the house at midnight while the folks are sleeping. Chances are they don't know the kid is gone, much less what the kid is doing at that hour of the night. You're good. We're cool.

But...

If you are passed out drunk on the couch when your kid leaves the house at midnight, or if you're up watching Girls Gone Wild infomercials when your child finally comes home, you'd better start asking yourself what your kid is doing out at that time of night.

Because, when the cops figure out it's your kid lighting fires in the street, throwing rocks through windows, and destroying exterior security lights around the neighborhood, I'm suing your lousy-parent ass.

Just sayin'.