Mirror, mirror, on the wall...

Dear woman;

Please purchase a new mirror. The one you are using is lying to you.

You do not look sexy in that sheer turtleneck that is two sizes too small.
Really, honey, it *does* make you look fat.
And, the too-high high heels do not make you look sexy either.
They make you walk funny... like a toddler just learning to walk.

You work for local government, otherwise I wouldn't say anything.
Also, I don't know you at all, otherwise I would have said something.
Because apparently, your friends and co-workers won't.
And, your mirror lies to you.