Kid Logic defies all reason

The boys and I go to an event that was finished by 8pm.
I ask if they want a ride home or if they want to walk. Having fun, they both say they'll walk home.
40 minutes later, I call Elder Son's cell phone and am informed that they are helping clean up.
"That's really nice of you," I say, "but you guys come home right after you're done. It's getting dark."
20 minutes later, Younger Son calls me.
"Mother, it's dark. Can you come get us?"
"Why aren't you already home? Have you been cleaning up all this time?"
Silence.
"Or have you been playing?"
"Um... both?"
Grrr!
"Start walking. NOW!"

But this is not the frustrating part.

When they arrive home at 9:30pm, they are both tired and dirty and thirsty.
All the elder boy wants is to lay down.
All the younger boy wants is a drink.
I am sympathetic. They look sad. I pour a glass of Kool-Aid for Younger Son.
But the elder boy drinks it, and the younger throws himself on the floor exhausted.
Explain this to me. You're killing me, guys.

This is still not the irritating part...
Hang on...

For all their whining, they cannot complete one single task (finish your drink, go to bed... you know, all the back-breaking things I ask them to do *rolls eyes*) without pausing to have a highly-animated, off-topic conversation.
If they are so tired, how can they stand on their heads explaining something that happened earlier? What is that?!?
Friggin'. Go. To. Bed. !. !. !.

But wait, there's more!

At 10pm, as I tuck the younger boy into bed with a tender kiss to his forehead (instead of the cuff upside the head I truly need to deliver to someone), I ask if he'd be interested in soccer camp this summer.
"It's from 6-8pm, so it's not in the middle of the day when it's hot," I tell him.
He shakes his head. "No," he says, "I don't want to have to go to bed that late."
*blink*
*blink*
"It's ten o'clock right now."
"I know. Could you make me go to bed earlier next time?"

That's when my head exploded.
Have a nice day.