Flying monkeys attacked my children

Got a call from my boys who are playing at the park with a friend.

Some bigger kids had taken Elder Son's shoes and hidden them.

Being a good mom, my first question was, "Why weren't you wearing your shoes?"

Okay, not really.
Because I was trying really hard not to say, "What kids? Gimmee names! Why, I'll murdlize 'em!"

But as Elder Son was speaking, and my blood started to boil, I heard Younger Son shout in the background, "And they took our coats, too!"

"Okay," I said to my son, "I feel like I need to drive over there and talk to those kids."

"No," he replied. "They're already leaving."

"Are they leaving with grown-ups?"

"No, it's just two teenagers and a little girl. The little girl told us where they hid my shoes. I'll call you back when we find our stuff, or if we don't."

Well, you KNOW I immediately grabbed my keys and drove to the park, driving like a stalker up and down the adjacent side streets looking for any kids foolish enough to be outside.
Good thing I didn't find any, because I was seething at this point and couldn't think of anything civil or non-accusational to say to anyone under the age of 21 (proven only with proper ID).

So, nothing.
And I drove into the park where I found all three boys fully clothed.

"You find all your stuff?"
"Yeah."

And like the scarecrow on Wizard of Oz describing where the flying monkeys had thrown all of his stuffing, the boys told me where they had been collecting their things.
"This was over here, and that was over there..."

"So, there was no harm done," I summarized. "They were just mean."

Yeah.
And my boys went on to tell me that once Elder Son had whipped out his cell phone and started dialing, the older kids had decided to bolt.

"Oh!" said I. "So, they're not just mean, they're cowards as well."

This made all three boys grin.

"Yeah."

And when I offered to drive them all home again, they declined, choosing instead to keep playing. (Even though Younger Son did ask if I'd stay in case the other kids came back, he felt safe enough with his big brother and friend to stay without me.)

Good kids.
Not to be bullied.

(BTW, when I finally did get around to asking about the shoes, and why Elder Son hadn't been wearing them? The answer was, "They fell off." Well, of course they did.)