Thursday, March 31, 2016

How Heavy Was It?

When I walked into the employee break room, two co-workers were talking about moving furniture.  Specifically, they were talking about how awkward to carry and how heavy sleeper sofas are.

Co-worker One remarked, "...because they're heavy as sh!t."

I nonchalantly snapped ice cubes out of a tray while they continued with the furniture talk, but as soon as there was a pause, I spoke up.
"My biggest concern is the weight of One's sh!t if it is, indeed, as heavy as a sleeper sofa."

Several moments passed while the two of them processed what I had said.
And tried to wrap their heads around the fact that the lady as old as their mother had said it.

I nonchalantly dropped the ice cubes into my Thermos as I waited.
Unapologetic.

When they finally spoke, it was rapid fire.
"It's not the weight so much as it's the shock wave when it lands."
"Like a T-Rex."
"You see the vibration in your water glass."
"Holy cow!  Was that an earthquake?"
"I'm pretty sure I was the cause of a reactor meltdown once."
"I think you're also responsible for a tsunami or two."

Hm.
I may regret setting this kind of precedent.

1 comment:

Jessica P said...

those co-workers are men aren't they.
Women, specifically moms, are so used to shit we just clean it up and move on.
we know that shitty diapers are not weights.

silly boys.