Monday, May 09, 2011

Something like Indecent Proposal

*If you are a female and have ever filed a complaint with your Human Relations department because someone called you "Honey" or "Sweetheart" at work, this is not the post for you.  If you are a male, and you think it is a legal offense for a woman to tug on your tie and tell you to "loosen up a little", this is not the post for you.*

***

Are all the grown ups gone now?
Okay, good.

***

The relationship between the talk show host and me is extremely relaxed and casual.
He swears like a sailor whenever the mics are off, and I adjust my bra in front of him.  When I make him laugh soda out his nose, he says, "You.are.a.d!ck." I find this hilarious. 

Are you still with me?
If you are offended, it only gets worse.  Get out now.

I see some of you are now leaning closer to your computer screens.
Nice!
(Hello, Andy.)

***

At the broadcasters awards banquet Saturday night, I was seated between The Husband and the talk show host.
This is what actually happened:
Talk Show Host handed a couple $20 bills to The Husband and told him the first round of drinks was on him if The Husband would go get them.  The Husband walked away.  When he returned, he distributed beverages, handed Talk Host a $20 bill and said, "Here's your change."

But later in the evening, this exchange happened between the three of us:

Me:  (to The Husband, loud enough for Talk Host to hear) I'm just offended that Talk Host asked you, "How much to spend the night with your wife?" and he gave you forty bucks.
The Husband:  (laughing because the joke was on me)  Did you notice I gave him money back?
Talk Host:  Twenty bucks!  What a deal!  I'd have blown for $ixty!
Me:  As would I!

***

Come to think of it, I believe the other tables thought we were very obnoxious.

11 comments:

Andy said...

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

(Hello, Andy.) NYUK!

Oh Jeepers, thanks for the morning chuckle, Roses. I'll be laughing about this all day...

Moogie P said...

I thought I saw him leaning in, too!!

Dani said...

ROTFL Ahhhhh (wipes away tear of mirth) that was a good way to start my morning.

Thumper said...

=snort=
heh...

vw bug said...

*snicker*

G.G. Mueller said...

Thank god (or deities) there is someone else out there that UNDERSTANDS. As I say (occasionally in court) "I am not cheap, just easy." ==snort==

Andy said...

G.G., I always say, "I'm cheap, but I ain't free."

Sure, it's not funny, but I say it anyway.

The Mayor said...

Is it wrong that after I heard $60, I immediately started calculating the Canadian/American exchange rate?

Roses said...

Wrong, Mayor?
Why no. That's forward thinking!

Bou said...

How did I miss this yesterday?! We are bad like that at work too. Some would find it offensive, but we are all so relaxed around each other that we think nothing of it. We do find ourselves on pins and needles when new people are hired in... our behavior is markedly changed!

Andy said...

Roses: Nyuk! Hey, lemme clue you in on His Hono(u)r, The Mayor...

I guarantee you that when you venture north of the border, he'll be stalking ya'!