Wednesday, September 02, 2009


Being Patient - means you will say nothing at 1am when people are wandering your neighborhood shouting loudly for their dog to come home.  What could be worse than losing your dog in the middle of the dark, cold night?

Being Tolerant - means you may grind your teeth but still say nothing the very next night at 1am when the same people wander your neighborhood shouting loudly for the same damn dog to come home.  And it's raining.
(That's what's worse than losing your dog in the dark, cold night, I guess.)

Trepidation - is what The Husband feels when he realizes I'm gonna say something to the dufuses after they finally catch their dog and feel the need to replay the exciting adventure even more loudly on their pass back through our neighborhood.
"I saw him running past that house right there and thought you had him!"
"I know!  But he turned around and ran behind a bush!"
"OMG!  I am so wet!"

I don't have a definition for what happens when I stick my head out the window and yell, "Hey!  It's 1:30 in the morning!  Can you keep it down?" and the woman carrying the dog hollers back, "I'm sorry, ma'am!  You see, we lost our dog, and..." keeps on talking, explaining with great volume and at great length (as if we hadn't heard the whole saga live and in person) what had happened.

But that's about when I start loading the paint ball gun.

Restraint - means you don't actually fire the paintball gun.

Damn straight - means they haven't lost track of their dog at 1am since.


I'm a little testy when I'm tired.
Just sayin'.


Thumper said...

Tsk. It would have been so nice if you had fired the paintball gun. You wouldn't have to actually hit them, just...scare them a little... ;)

Richmond said...

Ha! I am glad Miss Molly sticks close to home... ;)

The Gray Monk said...

Sounds pretty restrained to me, the paintball gun is much less lethal than some options - and the definition for the "respondent" is "Only People" - those who try to enter lift cars, trains and busses before anyone can get off, park their cars across driveways or talk loudly when no one else wants to listen. They are the "Only People" who matter.