Friday, February 20, 2009

Dare I be unconscious?

Got another question for you:

The boys, as they age, are going to bed later and later.
I, as *I* age, am going to bed earlier and earlier.
But, I do not feel right going to bed before the children.
I am sure this is left over from tucking little babies into bed before I can relax...
However, they are now 14 and 11 years old.

So, here is the question:
Should I wait for them to go to bed?

Part of me says, what for? Go to bed, Roses! They can find their way.
But, another part of me says, are you kidding? They'll stay up all night, and I'll have to deal with the grouchies in the morning. (And they are such whiney grouchies.)

Plus, when I posed this question to another mother, she said her kids (read: boys) tore apart the house and left a giant mess by morning. I can't see my guys tearing apart the house, but they do tend to forget to turn out lights and put away the milk.

Your thoughts/experience?


Dani said...

Hmmm well my little one still ges to bed long before me but I recall when I was a teenager it didn't matter when my Mom tried to send me to bed I went to sleep when I felt like it so she finally gave up and let me set my own hours. Of coarse I'm grumpy in the AM no matter what.

Chazya said...

have a house rule for a certain hour for everybody. Make sure its reasonable for everybody. for instance "Lights out at 10 pm"

They could have the privilege of staying up later ONLY if they read or did homework in bed with a reading light.

Then if they want to stay up later thats their choice of entertainment.

If adults abide by this rule too, then its not so hard to swollow for the younger ones.

Have preteens with an earlier bedtime that's standard. Like, 30 minutes earlier.

Worked for the kids I was a nanny for. No Arguments, everybody is in bed about the same time.

its an idea

Richmond said...

I have tried to implement a "sane" bedtime on school nights - 9:30 and lights out.

Weekends are another story... And I *don't* always stay up until the girls are in bed. I just can't!! And I figure grouchies or no - they will learn eventually. Or not.

After all - I am a morning person and can chew butt in the mornings as needed. Not my problem if they stayed up too late!

Thumper said...

When the Boy was 12 or 13 the rule was "You're old enough to know when you're sleepy; stay up if you want, but there better be NO complaining when the alarm goes off in the morning...if you don't get up, you lose something that matters to you."

When he was eleven, bedtime was 10 pm.

Maybe make the 11 year old go to bed around the same time you do, but the teenager should be able to figure it out for himself (he'll learn the first time he's too tired to get up and loses a privilege or video game...whatever he cares about. The big thing for mine was not risking his chance to take driver's ed that summer.)

The 11 year old will balk (I sure did when my sisters got to stay up later than I did) but just point out that someday he'll be 14, too. The older you are, the later you get to stay up, unless and until you prove yourself unable to handle it.

bx19 said...

I always say, "If I ain't in bed before 10:30, I'm going home!!"

Bob said...

Actually, it doesn't matter whether you decide to go to bed or not. You'll be awake until they're all in bed anyway. It was the weirdest thing when the last of our kids moved out. Suddenly we could go to bed whenever we wanted to and ... wonder of wonders ... we'd fall right to sleep.

So what are I doing up after 11:00 PM? you ponder. Well, our soldierboy is home this weekend, but he's out on a date right now. So you see, it doesn't matter how big the kids get, they're always your babies.

Oh! I hear him at the door now. Gotta go.

(As James walked in he seemed to be talking to himself. But nope, he was talking on the phone [via his ear thingy] to his lady love. I guess we'll talk in the morning.)

Priscilla said...

My youngest will be 21 this summer but I do remember that I allowed them to stay up past my bedtime. The TV had to be turned off at 10 (I hit the hay between 8-9) and I didn't want to hear them after that. My kids were homeschooled so they didn't HAVE to be up at a certain time.

So I would say, set a limit. 'Put yourself to bed by @@@. Lights out at @@@. No more noise after @@@. AND if you are grouchy the next morning you get to go to bed same time as me the next night.'

I honestly think at a certain age, when the hormones are a changing, you have to be a little flexible within reason. And they have to behave like a decent human.

It's good for them to start carving their independence under the structure of their awesome mother.