Thursday, June 23, 2016

Assigned Seats

Our company is moving to a new building sometime in the next month (they've said for the past 10 months).  Today, a co-worker was tasked with showing each team member the floor plan, explaining where each department will be located, and asking each team member where he/she would like to sit.

When the floor plan came around to me, the co-worker discovered the section of the paper that listed which department I was in was cut off. We could only see the bottom third of the letters. 

"What does it say?" he asked me.  "Where are you supposed to sit?"
I studied the broken letters carefully and replied, "I'm pretty sure the letters are I R O N T H R O N E."

Monday, June 20, 2016


Co-worker staggers to the water cooler near my desk.

He:  My hips are bad.  Someone's gonna have to put me down.
Me:  Okay.  You're ugly, and your mother dresses you funny.
Me:  Or... did you mean some other kind of put-down?
He:  No, Roses.  That's exactly what I needed.

And he walks away chuckling.

Thursday, June 16, 2016

Game of Thrones: I Worship It, Apparently

It's lunchtime.

I have my Game of Thrones hardcover tucked in my arm as I walk out of the office, giddily looking forward to a little selfish me-time.  When I step outside, I am startled to find myself in the midst of a small crowd of smokers and they are equally surprised by my sudden appearance.

"Hey, Roses," one of them says. "Are you selling something?"

I run a self-diagnostic to determine why he'd ask such a question, and decide it is because of the way I am carrying the book.  In my mind's eye, I think I might resemble an evangelist toting a Bible.

So I hold the Game of Thrones book out in front of me and in a great, grand voice respond, "Do you have time, brother, to talk about our Lord... Commander?"

Games of Thrones jokes are totally wasted on people who don't actually watch the show.

Wednesday, June 15, 2016

Dear Roses, Today You Felt Normal... Again!

Dear Roses,

Today was different.
You smiled a lot without consciously thinking, "I should smile so I don't scare children."
You hummed.
I don't think you swore under your breath at work even once.
In fact, you told so many jokes at work, the gal at the next desk over said she will miss sitting next to you when the company moves to the new office and she has to sit somewhere else.

I think there used to be a time when every day used to be like this.

Today should have been one horrible crummy day since you went to bed late last night and then Younger Son called at 1am to say his car broke down in the pouring rain. Elder Son was able to fetch him and when they both returned home safe, they discovered the basement floor covered in fresh rain water.  The whole family worked to move furniture and sop up the wet until 2:30am; and then all four of you sat in the livingroom talking about cars and "Service Engine" lights and sharing stories of car mishaps from early driving days.  What should have been an awful midnight experience was bonding and sweet.

And when you woke up this morning, you should have felt tired and depressed and miserable, but you didn't.

Today was more than a normal day.
It was a good day.
And that is a miracle considering the day you should have had after the night you had.

Today was the second normal day you've had since adding iodine supplements to your diet to aid your dying thyroid.
I'm convinced those supplements are saving your life.

Thank you for not letting your medical doctor talk you out of them in January.

A toast to you, Roses!
I had missed you terribly.  I look forward to seeing you again and again.

Sunday, June 12, 2016

His and Hers Mornings

It is 8:30 Sunday morning. I have just gotten out of bed; The Husband has been awake for a couple hours.

He:  I spread some weed n feed on the lawn while the grass is still wet, and I brought in the newspaper for you. I'm gonna go to town for bacon.  I hope to be back in time to make breakfast for Younger Son before he leaves for work.

Me:  I'm gonna work on getting dressed. I hope to be done by noon.

Saturday, June 11, 2016

Mortarboard Designs

It'll be four years before I get to wear one, but I'm seeing pics of creative high school and college graduation caps now. ('tis the season)
And it's making me think about how to decorate my mortarboard when I finally get to cross the stage and accept my degree.

I'm a Harry Potter, Hunger Games, Firefly, and Games of Thrones fan.  So these are pretty cool.

I know the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I'm a "mature" student. (already have an AARP card next to the student ID in my wallet)  I'm older than some of my teachers. I hope to graduate before I retire.
I currently work in website development and online marketing.
My degree will be in Public Relations.
I think yarn should be involved somehow.

In the end, I may just go with something like this:

Until then, I'm open to suggestions.
What should my college graduation cap look like in 2020?

Thursday, June 09, 2016

Mom's and Dad's Anniversary

This is my dad's watch.
His work schedule changed from first to second shift so often that, as a child, I couldn't be sure if Dad was home unless his watch was sitting on the counter next to his loose change jar.
Dad's watch always meant Dad is home.

These are my mom's earrings.
She didn't wear a lot of jewelry, but she let me open her jewelry box and try on her things when I was little.  These earrings fascinated me because you could wear them without poking holes in your ears.
I'm not sure Mom let either of my other sisters play with her jewelry box.

These are the only things I wanted when my parents died.
I keep them arranged just like this on my bedside table.

On difficult mornings, I can place my hand over these things that remind me of my mom and dad and feel their presence.

Today would have been their wedding anniversary.
This is the first year they are celebrating in heaven together.
I imagine they are dancing to this polka.

"It was just another polka,
But holy smoke-ah!
Oh, what a girl in my arms!"

Thursday, June 02, 2016


The Husband was enjoying his Fudge-cicle while lounging on the couch.

I hugged him from behind and put my cheek next to his. It would have been a sweet gesture except I was holding my mouth open. 

He:. What are you doing?
Me: (pointing at the Fudge-cicle) I'm hoping you miss. 

Tuesday, May 24, 2016


We tried to dissuade her from building a burrow in our front yard.
The Husband filled the hole several times. The rabbit dug it back out.
The Husband set a board over the hole. She shoved it over.
Finally, when The Husband placed a rock in the hole (after making sure nothing living was inside of it), the rabbit abandoned the quest.

And dug a new hole five inches north of the rock.

We let her have that one.
She was determined, and she had earned it.

The hole (roughly the size of a quart jar) stayed empty for some time.  We know because we peeked into it daily.
Just when we started wondering if it really was a rabbit hole ("Did you ever see a rabbit digging it out?" "No, I've never seen an actul rabbit anywhere near it."), we found her sitting on it.

Today its entrance is tucked shut with fur.
We think we see movement way down in there. If we squint. And wait.  Long enough.

We hadn't wanted her there, but now that  her babies *are*, we can't help but feel protective.

The next door lady's cat?
Gets shooed out of our normally welcome yard.

Here comes the crazy lady with a broom.
(It's a good show for the neighbors.)

Tonight, it's raining.
The Husband, this wonderful man I married, sheepishly remarked that he had considered propping some canvas over the hole to keep it from flooding.
"But that would be silly," he said.
I replied, "I was one pair of scissors away from converting our laundry basket into a canopy, myself."

We constructed neither, because this is nature. Animals have been doing this forever.  Circle of life, blah blah blah.

So, I sit here listening to the rain.
I think about what's happening under the bundle of fluff, what their mother is doing, and where she's keeping dry tonight.

Good luck, bunny momma.


Updated 6/1/2016 to add for Jessica...

You can see 3 noses in a pyramid. 
You can't see it, but there is a 4th in the upper right of the hole.

One of them ventured out.  Momma was not far away.
(Pic is lousy because I was far away with a smartphone.)

Saturday, May 21, 2016

The One With The Stolen Opening Credits

Way back when the NBC TV show "Friends" was new, its opening credits bothered me.
I thought it was a straight up rip-off of the opening credits for another TV show that had starred Ellen Degeneres.

Not the theme song.
The thing that was ripped off was the part that has all the friends sitting together on a couch with a lamp outside in the park.

Plus, I was annoyed by the name of the show.
I was pretty sure the sit-com that Ellen had been in had also had a title that was similar to "Friends".  Specifically, I thought her show had been called "These Friends of Mine" or "These So-Called Friends of Mine".  But by the time NBC's "Friends" premiered, Ellen's ABC show was being called "Ellen", so I couldn't prove anything.  And I figured I may have been mistaken.

Well, I recently started binge-watching "Friends" on Netflix, and the whole couch in the park with the lamp thing started rubbing on my nerves again.   This time, I went to the www, and I WAS RIGHT ALL ALONG!

My query "wasn't ellen degeneres in a tv show called these friends of mine?" brought me this answer:  Yeah.  There was a show called "These Friends of Mine", and Ellen Degeneres was one member of an ensemble cast.  However, her character was so strong, the show was reworked putting her character in the forefront, and it was renamed "Ellen".

Further digging found that "These Friends of Mine" aired on ABC beginning in March of 1994.
The sit-com "Friends" premiered on NBC September 1994.

And I continued to search for videos of the opening title sequences. 

At the very end of the opening credits, characters from both shows are on a couch.  Outdoors.  With a lamp.
Maybe this bothers me way more than it should, but watch the two show opens yourself, and tell me if you worked at ABC and had put together the opening sequence, wouldn't you think NBC had kinda sorta ripped off your really cool idea? 

Here's the one from "These Friends of Mine/Ellen":

And here's the one from "Friends" six months later:

For most of two decades, I've known this.
And now you can never *not* know it.

You're welcome.