Friday, March 17, 2017

Library

By the time you read this, I'll be in a job interview hoping to become the next public relations employee at my local library system.

I've been wanting this job ever since I learned of its existence 10 years ago.
I've been preparing for this interview since the position opened up 3 1/2 weeks ago.

We're all writers here in blog world.
We are all about the stories.
How awesome would it be to work where your entire day revolves around promoting reading?

Wish me well.
About now, I'm introducing myself and explaining how I fell in love with libraries at age 7 when the neighbor girl said to me, "It's craft day at the library!  Do you wanna come?"

Thursday, March 09, 2017

Overheard in the past 24 hours in the Ack! Thbbbt! House

(Dialogue delivered rapid-fire over dinner.)

He:  Been feeling pretty good lately.
Me:  Do you think it's the vitamins you've been taking?
He:  That, and the sun has been out.
Me:  That *is* nice.
He:  Yeah, the snow has melted and no one uncovered the body.
Me:  "The" body.  Just one?  Must've been a slow winter.

***

(Dialogue delivered somewhat slurred after I followed The Husband into the basement.)

He:  Are you drunk on half a glass of wine?
Me:  I think I *am* a little tipsy.  I didn't remember our house having a spiral staircase.

***

I feel like there should be a third humorous conversation here.
But sadly I don't have another.
Do you have one to add here?  Post it in a comment!


Sunday, March 05, 2017

Music requests

While upstairs watching TV, I suddenly realize there's music from the 1960's playing in the basement where I know the boys are deeply engrossed in shoot 'em up video games.
I listen for a moment, and it occurs to me that the boys have actually *chosen* a style of music The Husband had been listening to earlier.
This makes me melt a little to think the boys can still be positively influenced by things their parents do.

So, I go downstairs to hug them.
They each look up from their computer screens to see what I want.  I simply look at the radio that's playing in the corner, and them I look at them.
"Yeah, can you turn that off?" one of them asks.
"It just came on by itself," says the other.

Ah.  Now I understand.

The Husband had scrounged up an old clock radio from the garage yesterday.  It was this apparatus that had been tuned in to his favorite radio station earlier today.  When he turned it off, he had accidentally set the alarm.
When the music popped on as scheduled, both boys had been too busy shooting aliens to get up and turn it off.

So much for my warm, melty heart.

I turn off the radio as requested.
But there's a pretty good chance I only pressed the snooze button.

Monday, February 13, 2017

Hello, is it me you're looking for?

The Husband and I had gotten separated, so I had to backtrack through the store to find him.

I paced the aisle looking up and down each row, and a store employee walking toward me could clearly see I was searching for something.  As we passed, neither of us slowing, we had this exchange:

She: Are you finding everything okay today?
Me: Everything but my husband.
She: Well, good luck with that one.

Saturday, February 11, 2017

Daily Newspapers

He:  I'll probably sign up for the daily newspaper subscription again. I need it for work.


Me:  That's fine. I'll read it over breakfast instead of Facebook.

He:  You can read all the national news and get all worked up first thing in the morning.

Me:  I just want to understand all the Saturday Night Live jokes. 


Friday, February 03, 2017

Same song, new verse

Okay, I know I've written about this at least twice before,but now I've figured out what my *real* issue is.

I have a friend who comes to visit this area occasionally, but she doesn't come to visit ME.
She has done this numerous times, and she doesn't even tell me she's here. I have written how bunched my undies have gotten over it.

 I understand it's a free country and she can visit or not visit whoever she damn well pleases.
And there are times I go into and out of a city without visiting everyone I know who lives there.
I get it.  That's fine.

But I've finally hit on what really upsets me:
Even though she doesn't tell me she's coming, and even though she doesn't plan to see me, SHE TAGS ME ON FACEBOOK ANYWAY.
What am I supposed to do with that?

"Hey, you busy?  Surprise!  I'm right over here!  See me?  Yeah?  Well, don't come over 'cause I'm having fun with these other friends that I drove 400 miles to see, not you. 'kay, this was fun!  Bye!"
(I may be paraphrasing somewhat.)

You're right.
I need to stop... referring to her as my friend.

::adult Roses sits next to middle-school-aged Roses::

Tuesday, January 31, 2017

Face to Face

I used to be someone people wanted to hang around with.  Always had a smile, always had something funny to say.

After 8 years in news talk radio during a hostile political climate, and after losing 3 immediate family members between 2010-2015, I now have "resting bitch face", and people (even close friends) are afraid to approach me.
I've seen my face. Candid photos of me are not pretty.

Babies still smile at me.
So that gives me hope.

Monday, January 30, 2017

Customer Service Funnies

At the end of a Live Chat with online support, the tech typed to me, "Is there anything else you need?"
I typed back, "I need more chocolate."
She replied, "So do I!"

***

The Husband and I go into an actual physical bank to do business almost every weekend. Very often we'll withdraw money while we're there.  Every time we do, the teller asks, "How would you like that?" meaning what denomination bills.
I always answer, "In chocolate, please."
And the response is ALWAYS, "Ha!  I *wish*!"

Saturday, January 28, 2017

Self-Cleaning Oven

We are discussing how long it'll take to self-clean the oven, and who will stay home to monitor the process.

He: I have a meeting this morning.  Will you be home for the next 5 hours?

Me: Where would I go without you, babe?

He: Crazy?

Me: Well sure, but I can do that at home.

Thursday, January 26, 2017

Secrets

Here's a question:

When you are keeping a secret for someone, does your obligation end when that person dies?
Once that person ceases to exist, is it okay to blab their secret to anyone?

How about this:
How about you keep keeping that secret because you're a still a living, decent human being?
That person's death is not the end of your decency. How about that?

Unless you're not a decent human being.  Then, by all means, blab your stupid face off.

(Still p!ssed over sh!t one aunt said about my mother after Mom died six years ago.)