Wednesday, April 22, 2015

Office Feng Shui

I missed some work last week.  Had school appointments, had to escort a family member to a medical appointment, you know... stuff.

It was a stressful week with all the running and the loss of income.
I indulged in comfort food and treated myself to a new pair of jeans.

The day I returned to a regular day of work, I wore my new jeans.
It was the weirdest thing.  They made my legs sore.  It felt like I'd just run up and down the stairs a bunch of times even though I'd done nothing but sit all day.
I have no idea why a pair of jeans would do that, but maybe they were just a little too tight in the thigh?  I don't know.

The next day back at work, I wore my "old" pair of jeans.
Again, sore thighs.
What?  Why?

"Hey," I asked my cubiclemates, "when I was out of the office, did someone else sit at my desk?"
"Yeah."
"Did that person, by chance, change the height of my chair?"
"Yup. Yup, he did."

Dangit!
I'm the Princess and the Pea!
One small thing out of place throws everything off!

I couldn't tell you if my chair was higher or lower, but it was just a little different.
I must have been sitting just a little bit differently and my legs had to adjust.
Of all the goofy things...

Since we're on the subject, my aching shoulders and neck eased up a bit after I put my computer monitor up on phone books.

As a society, I think we bow to our electronics and entertainments far too much and don't pay near enough attention to what our bodies are telling us.
Laptops are the worst things to ever happen to our necks.
Well, those and smartphones.

Geez, we can be really stupid to ourselves.

Monday, April 20, 2015

Tired of Headaches.

Have you noticed that no one has sympathy for you when you're tired?  It's a debilitating condition that effects your physical and mental abilities. Yet, being tired is often shrugged off as either unimportant or the fault of the person suffering from it.

That's why I no longer tell people when I'm tired.

I lie and say I have a headache.

People tend to feel bad for you when you have a headache and they treat you nicer.

Saturday, April 18, 2015

Hair today, Gone tomorrow

Just me, or do you put off going to bed on days when you're having a good hair day just because you know when you wake up the good hair will be gone never to return?

Yeah.
I'm in mourning today.

Sunday, April 12, 2015

How to Hide a Candy Stash

My candy stash was discovered this week, and I found myself wondering again, "Where can I hide my candy so my kids and husband can't find it?"

It's not that I'm greedy.

Just, sometimes, I buy a special kind of treat that is maybe more expensive or maybe a little more decadent than a simple bag of Hershey Kisses. And I don't want the people I love to snarf it down like it's a bowl of popcorn.

Here's a list of ideas I've used.  What other suggestions do you have?

1) Feminine Supplies
One popular hiding spot is the tampon box.  No male would ever think of looking there, and I suspect that any male who knows the truth about what's hidden in the box would never touch the tampon box to get it.
The tampon box is a good hiding spot for a lot of things.  Money, a small notebook, credit cards would all be hidden well there.

Exceptions:
If you live with women, however, this hiding spot may be discovered easily.
Plus, I'm not fond of keeping food in the bathroom. So, this is not a place I can hide my candy.

2) Containers of Food Only You Consume
For a long time, I managed to keep my candy stashed in a powdered chai can right next to The Husband's coffee.  No one ever drank chai but me.  No one else ever opened the can.  No one suspected anything even though there were always two chai cans up there.  They all assumed I kept a spare so I'd never run out.

You can hide almost anything in a food container that no one else opens.  Diet food packages or specially flavored coffee/tea are good options.  "Grown up" breakfast cereal boxes are great for hiding things from small children.  If there's no cartoon character on the box and no sugar in the package, they will avoid it like bathtime.
I kept candy in a box that used to contain snack bars that the boys didn't like.  Kept it right there in the cupboard next to all the other snacks.  I watched the boys pick up that box, look behind it for something tasty, and put it right back on the shelf without knowing a thing about its inner secrets.  The only reason this spot isn't still in regular use is because The Husband found it... and he started eating my chocolate*.

My chai hiding spot was only found out because my family members are so darned thoughtful and considerate.  One morning The Husband and Younger Son were working in the kitchen while I was minding my own business reading the newspaper at the table.  The Husband asked if I wanted some chai, and before I could say anything, Younger Son reached into the cupboard to get the can down for me.
The can of powdered chai... rattled.
Game over.

3) Personal Hobbies and Crafts
Ain't nobody in my house gonna go looking through a basket of yarn.  They'll never find the Ziploc baggie of chocolates buried in the bottom of that pretty mess.

*Important Note:
The secret to keeping your stash a secret is to make it appear there is nothing hidden to begin with.
Once your stash is discovered and you need to change it, leave a decoy in the place that was found.
That box of snack bars the boys don't like that The Husband eats from?  I keep a handful of candy in there just to make him think that's still where I hide candy from the boys.  He has no reason to go looking anywhere else.

Wednesday, April 08, 2015

Throwing in the Towel

I keep our good bath towels on the bottom of the stack. My reasoning is, the other towels will have to be used first. Some weeks, we don't use all the towels before laundry day which means the good towels don't get used at all that week, get used less overall, and therefore will stay nice longer.

In theory.

There's always the odd occurance of "man logic" that says if there's a tomato spill, the only way to clean it is with the white dish towels we save in the back of the drawer for when we have guests. The same logic dictates sopping up greasy automotive messes with the softest, thickest bath towels.

Today I noticed one of the "good" bath towels in the laundry basket. I thought, "Hm, we must be getting down to the bottom of the stack of towels.
But when I checked the closet, there were plenty.

Someone has discovered the comfy, soft " good" towels and has gone through the extra trouble of unwedging one from the bottom of the pile to take a shower.

And y'know what?
That kinda makes me happy.

Tuesday, April 07, 2015

The Best Blog Post I Ever Read

You guys,

I am such a crummy blog friend.
I have a totally awesome friend named Shoshanah, and I just sat here and didn't tell you how awesome she is.

And she's awesome because she made me Blog of the Month!

In February!

And I think she did it again in March.

And I'm just now telling you about it in April.

Because I suck as a blog friend.

Go read what she wrote.  It's really nice.
I want to hug her.

But first I have to go see what a raconteur is...

Thursday, March 26, 2015

Don't Send a Text at 6am, dammit

It never fails.
I had a rough night.  At 2am, I gave up, turned off my alarm, and decided I would just sleep in and go to work late today.

Always on mornings like this, a "friend" will text me half an hour before my alarm would have gone off if I'd had it on.

Why do people think it's okay to send a text at an hour when they would never, ever consider it okay to make a phone call?

I know what you're thinking. "If you don't want to be disturbed, turn off your phone."

That's a perfect solution for someone who does not have children or elderly relatives.  That only works for someone who is not responsible for anything other than him/herself.  Yes, I'm extremely envious that you don't have anything better to do in the middle of the night besides sleep.  I will never, ever have that luxury again, because I will always have children for whom I will always want to be available at any hour of the day or night.

How about people just having some freaking sense of time and decorum?

I hate people today.
Everybody sucks.

Wednesday, March 25, 2015

community service.

One of the charities where I volunteer is considering allowing local criminals to work off their community service at the service site.

She:  I'm comfortable with it. I can get a lot more done if I have extra people. You know, like people with speeding fines and NSA checks. No murderers or anything.

Me: No, those would slow you down.

Sunday, March 08, 2015

Two Word Movie Review - Kingsmen: The Secret Service

Here are your two words:

Jolly good!

Kingsmen: The Secret Service is a movie about a British down-on-his-luck teen who is destined for secret super spy greatness... but doesn't know it yet.

The premise is parallel to that of Jupiter Ascending, except Kingsmen does everything right where Jupiter did everything wrong.

It's a big screen movie.  If you can catch it in the theater, do it.
During the spectacular visuals of the opening credits that promised more eye candy to come, I leaned over to The Husband and whispered, "I like this movie already," and he replied, "Me, too!"
During the opening credits, you guys.

We've already agreed we'll be buying the DVD.

I enjoyed everything about this movie except the distracting lisp of Samuel L. Jackson's character.


People have made snide remarks that Kingsmen is a rip-off of James Bond movies... as if it's a bad thing to be like James Bond movies.  But it's not like .007 is the only franchise that has ever used spies, secret service, and really cool weapons.  Mission Impossible, anyone? Danger Man, anyone?  Can't really hold that argument against these guys.

On the down side, there is hero's luck, which I usually scoff at. There's lots of hero's luck. (Really, who can be shot at that many times and not take one hit? Elder Son related it to the shooting accuracy of Storm Troopers).
But it's all forgivable, because they do it up right.  It's a good movie.

There were a few parts that actually surprised me and one beautifully orchestrated musical piece that made me laugh out loud.
And that was refreshing.

This is a good one.  You should go see it.

 ***

Read the full collection of Two Word Reviews here.
Find my movie critic credentials here.

Monday, February 16, 2015

A Real Pain

That fun game when you want two aspirin and only one comes out of the bottle. Then you tip the bottle again and two more capsules fall into your palm.  So you have three instead of two. And when you try to put one back into the bottle, two of them tumble back in and you have only one again.

Yeah, that's a fun game.