Sunday, July 23, 2017

Library, the Sequel

I had a good weekend.
The Husband drove up north to visit with his family today...

He asked, "Is it okay if I drive up to visit my sister on Sunday?"
As he followed up the question with, "You can come along," I was already replying, "Is it okay if I don't come?"
And there was a little awkward silence before we both burst out laughing. I had the house to myself for several hours.  I spent the time gathering materials to apply for another library public relations job.

I finished by the time The Husband returned.  I'm exhausted.

Just wanted to let you guys know I'm still out there swinging.  Send good vibes.

It's Monday, and I've already received a "we got your stuff" email from the library job I applied to yesterday.  Not even a full 24 hours have passed.
This is nice considering I've applied for six jobs so far this year, and only one other place gave me the courtesy of letting me know they received anything.
Really, it's not like they have to hire me or even grant me an interview; just let me know my stuff arrived, that's all.  It's common courtesy, not a commitment.

**Further update**
A few hours after the library acknowledged receipt of my materials, another place I'd applied to sent an almost identical email.
Not as impressed with the second note.  I'd sent in that application nearly a full month ago.  Makes me wonder how poorly run the organization is, and how frustrating it might be to work there.

Friday, July 21, 2017

Karma is the BOSS!

When I met him for lunch on Thursday, I told The Husband, "The only thing I don't like about my job is my boss."

Friday morning at 10 o'clock, my boss put in his two weeks' notice.

Who knew I had such power?

Friday, July 14, 2017

Menopause Aerobics

Ready, ladies?  Here we go!

One - two - Sweater - on
Three - four - Sweater - off


One - two - Sweater - on
Three - four - Sweater - off

Feel the burn!
( The hot flash, that is.)

Thursday, July 06, 2017

Because... reasons.

Growing up, my parents hosted many family get-togethers at our house.  Most of these gatherings were around Christmastime.  As the youngest of the family, my main responsibility was to arrange cookies on a plate and serve them to our guests.

This is why, if I invite you to my house, chances are refreshments will be as elaborate as a plate of cookies, and no more.
If a gathering requires more, I will not host it.

This is also why, even though you've invited me to many of your gatherings, I have never invited you to mine.
Because I never have any.
It's not that I'm mooching off your parties.  It's because I can't handle hosting one as good as yours.  You know, a "good" one, like one that has food.

Although, I probably *could* manage a cookie-swapping party.  Let me think about that one.


I had a friend who liked to talk smack about her in-laws.  One of her favorite smack stories was the one about the awful state of one female relative's kitchen.  At least one of the characteristics of the awful kitchen sounded a lot like one of the characteristics of my kitchen.

She probably really does have a female relative with an awful kitchen, but I always wondered if she wasn't really just trying to give me a hint without hurting my feelings.
You know, as in "this relative has ALL these awful kitchen issues, but you just have this one kitchen issue that you can fix easily enough."

This is why I stopped inviting that friend over.  I wondered what else there was about my house that wasn't up to her standards.


I wanted to have a special 50th birthday party.  I wanted to do something fun with a few friends.
For the reasons explained previously, I did not want to host this party at my house.  I wanted to treat my friends to some nice food, something nicer than a plate of cookies, but I did not want to stress about coordinating such a tremendous feat.  I also did not want to clean my house and my awful kitchen.
I just wanted to go somewhere, do something fun, eat some food, drink some beverage, then go home alone and judge-free to my messy house and awful kitchen.
I reserved a crafty activity at the neighborhood winery with snacks and beverages.  Someone else coordinated the craft and supplies, someone else coordinated the food being served, and someone else cleaned. 

Perfect!  Just what I wanted for my special 50th birthday party.  No stress, no mess.

I invited very few special friends. One of these special friends invited herself to spent the night at my house after the party.  She had planned to drink many adult beverages and didn't want to drive home after the party. 
Yes, I should have just told her no.  But she hadn't asked.  She just *did*.

This is why, for my special no stress, no mess 50th birthday party, I cleaned my house and awful kitchen and arranged both a supper and a breakfast for someone else.

This is also why I will not invite that special friend to any more parties.


The Husband and I wanted to celebrate our milestone wedding anniversary.  For the reasons explained previously, we both agreed we did NOT want to host this celebration at our house.
We just wanted to spend some time with friends, family, and co-workers and feed them food and beverages.  We did not want to stress about it in any way, shape or form.

We rented a venue, a very nice place with an outdoor balcony overlooking a garden.  We wrote a check to reserve it.

We informed our closest friends, asked them to save the date.  Most of them already had plans and regretfully declined.
This left family and co-workers.  All of our family lived so far away that in order to come, we'd have to let them stay at our house.  And clean it.  Or ask them to stay in a hotel, which seemed rude.
This left co-workers.  And it seemed really wrong to throw a nice party with a balcony overlooking a garden for a so few people.
So, The Husband and I started thinking about who *else* we could invite to fill out the place. 
"We *have* to have at least 60 people!  Who else?  Who else?"
Geez, we could invite that friend who'll probably want to spend the night, so we'll have to clean. 

And food.  What should we serve?  Which caterer should we hire?  How can we order food if we don't know how many people can come?

And oh my god, we should have a slideshow!  With wedding pictures!  Which photos do you want to have on the slideshow?  None of our wedding photos are digital, we'll have to get them transferred... What format does it have to be on for the hall to play them? 

Finally we realized our delightful, carefree party was becoming everything we didn't want it to be.
So we canceled it. 
Nope, no refunds.

This is why we spent several day's pay on a reception hall rental that we never used, and felt really good about it.

Sunday, June 18, 2017

Squirrel Tale

In our neighborhood, there's a squirrel that is missing part of its tail.  Instead of a long arching appendage, it has a short fluffy nubbin.

I wonder what its story is.
Was it attacked by a predator?  Did it get stuck in a trap? How did it manage to escape?

How has the squirrel's life been impacted?  It seems to be able to do everything other squirrels can do, but it can't swish its tail in warning like other squirrels can. 

Speaking of other squirrels, what do the other squirrels think?  Is the short-tailed squirrel a hero or a fool?  Is it looked upon as a survivor or as handicapped?

And how does the squirrel itself feel now?  Is it more cautious and twitchy than before, testing and inspecting  each new thing for its potential dangers?  Or is the squirrel more bold and fearless knowing it has survived once and can be victorious again?

These are my thoughts as I sip my Sunday morning beverage gazing at my backyard.

Monday, June 05, 2017


I do not have a problem with spiders.  I'm more likely to relocate a spider rather than crush it.
However, I have a problem with the conversation The Husband and I had at 4am today:

He: You'll be happy to know I killed the biggest spider I've ever seen in my life.  It was so big, I thought it was a mouse at first.

Me: No.  I am not happy to know that.

He: But it's dead.

Me: But it might have friends or family.
Where did you find this mouse-spider?

He: In the kitchen.

Me: Yeah, I won't be falling back asleep anymore this morning.

Sunday, June 04, 2017

The Ironic Makeup Applicator

Contents of travel kit:

1. Fold up toothbrush
2. Mini tube of toothpaste
3. Half dozen cotton swabs
4. Sample size makeup remover wipes
5. Sample size hair gel
6. Combo brush/mirror compact
7. Deoderant
8. Razor

I keep this travel kit stocked and stored in the linen closet so I can grab it at a moment's notice and rush out the door on an unplanned road trip, like the one I took last week to attend an uncle's funeral in Michigan. 

Each time I use the kit, I restock it and put it away for next time.  Sometimes, several months will go by before "next time" happens.
Like this time. 
I think the last time I restocked the travel kit was June 2016 when The Husband and I took an end of the semester celebration vacation.  So yeah, a full year.

Now, there are some items I don't put in the travel kit because I use them everyday. Things like my meds and my makeup I have to remember to pack in the same way I have to remember to pack extra pairs of underwear.

I remembered to pack everything before I left for Michigan this week.
However, I had forgotten that I'd recently washed the pressed powder makeup sponge that I'd been using. This sponge was still drying on my bathroom vanity in Wisconsin when I popped open the pressed powder in Michigan.
Well dang.

What to do.  Options:
1. Go without makeup
2. Use my fingers to apply the makeup
3. Rub the pressed powder container on my face
4. Find a substitute sponge-like item 

Option #4 was inside the 12-month-old travel kit.  Can you guess what it was?
Apparently, year old makeup remover wipes dry out if you don't seal the package completely.  When they do, they turn into sturdy,  lavender scented tissues.  And what do you know?  Fold one up enough times, it's the thickness of a makeup applicator sponge!

I was delighted and amused with this solution; I was able to apply my makeup... with makeup remover.

::takes bow::

Sunday, May 28, 2017

Two Word Movie Review - Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2

Here are your two words:

"Father's Day"

Not a spoiler; I don't think it's a secret, and you won't be surprised anyway to find out that we meet Starlord's dad in Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2.

The theme of fatherhood is threaded through the entire movie all the way to the very last bonus scene at the end of the credits.  (Not that bonus scene, the next one.  No no, not that one either, the next one.  Listen, just stay in your seat until the house lights come up and the muzak comes on in the theater, 'k?)

Take your dad to this movie.
Take your old-enough-to-watch-it kids to this movie.
Go on Father's Day if it's still in a theater near you.

(The planets aligned in the Ack!Thbbbt! universe, and even though we did not plan it, both boys were able to join The Husband and me at this viewing.  It was nice.  And when I realized the fatherhood theme was a thing and shouted it outloud in the theater, none of my family members hid in shame refusing to admit they were related to me.  Instead, their eyes lit up and they agreed with my assessment.)

The good news is this sequel is unique in that it does not suck like most sequels do.
The humor and the character development hold up just as well in Volume 2 as they did in the original.  The sound track rocks as hard as the first, also.  I had no idea those 70's hits I grew up with were ever this kickass.
You will probably enjoy this movie more if you've seen Volume 1; you kind of need to know the characters and what they mean to each other to really appreciate the relationship dynamics.

This was a fine follow up to the first Guardians of the Galaxy.  I recommend it highly.

Read more Two Word Movie Reviews.
Read about the review author.

Thursday, May 04, 2017

Brain. Drain.

The bathroom sink leaks.
The Husband duct taped key pipe points to tide us over until he has time to do a proper fix over the weekend.
Until then, there's a bucket under the sink to catch water.

After brushing my teeth, I heard drips hitting what was starting to sound like a deep collection of water.
So I pulled out the bucket to empty it.

I dumped it... in the sink.

See.  This is why it took me three years to complete my junior year of college.

Wednesday, May 03, 2017

Did I happen to mention... much I hate group projects?

Everyone in my group graduates next week, so their level of caring what grade we get on our final project is zero.

Just crash my grade point into the ground on your way out the door, why dontcha?


I'm so sorry.
This blog used to be much funnier.
But I swear people used to suck much less.