Sunday, September 28, 2014

The good parents?

Like most parents, the Husband and I have at times questioned our abilities as parents. 

So, it is gratifying when one of our children comes home from a friend's house and gives the Husband a meaningful hug.  And when the Husband asks, "What's that for?" the answer is, 
"Thank you for not being an a-hole like other people's dads."

So maybe we're doing better than some. 

Thursday, September 25, 2014

It doesn't take a grammar nazi...

Can't figure out why you keep getting less than stellar grades on your college papers?  

Perhaps you should let a friend look over your work to check for things you *could* *of* *did* differently. 

In College.  

Monday, September 22, 2014

Professional Insight

If you say something during a session with your therapist that causes him to say something like, "Wow, I never thought of it that way before," and if he then spends a moment contemplating your statement and shares how it relates to his own personal situation, should you expect:

a) your money back from your session, or
b) your money back and a fee for your own therapeutic insight

Because... day-um.
One of us should be paid for being a professional here.

Thursday, September 18, 2014

Morning boot camp

I arrived at work a little before 8 o'clock and was greeted by one of our bleary-eyed tech support guys. 

"How ya doing?" I asked. 
He replied, "Well, I got here earlier than usual, so I'm still booting up."

Saturday, September 13, 2014

Smart (gr)Ass

Younger Son was instructed to mow the lawn while The Husband and I were grocery shopping. When we returned home, the mower was on the lawn, but the grass was still growing tall.

"I couldn't get it to start," Younger Son explained.  

The Husband gave the cord a yank, and the mower purred to life. He shut it off again and looked at Younger Son. 

"Huh," said Younger Son. "I guess it just needed a really big jerk."


(The Husband laughed until he cried and said he's never been more proud of his boy.)

Wednesday, September 10, 2014

Eat. Pray. Love.

I slapped the side of my head.

"What was that?" The Husband asks.
"Mosquito," I reply.  "Bit me right on the temple."  After some thought, "Does that mean it worships me?"

Monday, September 08, 2014

Not. Enough. Money...

The radio station I left two years ago occasionally calls to ask if I can record commercials for them.  When I worked there, I was the only female announcer to do commercials, and they haven't hired any new female announcers since.
It doesn't happen often because it's a little awkward being having me there.
They start out offering me money to do it, then tell me who the client is.

Last week, I got another one of these calls.
"...wondering if you'd be willing to come in to record an ad.  We'd pay you.  It's for a political candidate."

When I worked at the station, it didn't matter what the subject matter was, I was required to record it as part of my job duties.  No questions.
But, they don't pay my salary anymore...

"Who's the candidate?" I want to know.

Omg, you guys.
It was this guy.

I said no.
In fact, my exact words were, "Oh hell, no."

There's not enough money, folks.  Wow.

Saturday, September 06, 2014

What's that whistling song in the Boxtrolls movie trailer?

(Scroll to end for official music video)

Younger Son informed me I was whistling a pop song wrong, and he proceeded to whistle it the "correct" way.
"Well, what song is it so I can listen to it and do it the right way?" I asked.
He didn't know, and since the only part of the song I knew was the whistling part, I couldn't look up any lyrics on-line.  And, of course, now that I really wanted to hear it, I could never catch it on the radio.

Watching TV one night, a trailer for a movie called The Boxtrolls came on, and there was THE TUNE in the background!

I listened for any lyrics, but the only word I could pick out was, "Oh!"
Not very helpful.

Numerous Google inquiries followed:
"What's the song in the Boxtrolls movie trailer?"
"What's the whistling song in the Boxtrolls TV trailer?"
Nothing but wrong answers. No search brought me to the tune stuck (wrong) in my head.

Then... two free weeks of satellite radio later...
I heard it. And got the name of it off the digital readout.

So friends, I present to you the correct answer to your question, and my new favorite song:
"The Walker" by Fitz And The Tantrums


You may also enjoy my Two Word Reviews.

Thursday, September 04, 2014

Take a memo


Sarcasm has no place in business correspondence. Especially when it's a letter of complaint. It makes the writer sound childish and pouty. 

I think the ease and convenience of email has allowed people to forget they are professionals. 

Tuesday, September 02, 2014

The last first day of school.

Over breakfast, I apologized to Younger Son, now a high school senior, for having never taken pictures of him or his brother on their first days of school. 

"Why would you even think of doing that?" he asked. 
"Dunno. All the other moms on Facebook are posting pictures of their kids on their first day of school."
"Well, I thank you for NOT taking pictures of me on the first day of school."
"Okay. Good."

Then I picked up my phone and pointed it at him as if I was going to take a picture. He promptly flipped me off with both fingers knowing I would never click the shutter for a photo like that. 

That's my boy!  :-)