The Tenth One

At the end of September, a study came out stating that one out of ten mammograms comes back with a false positive.
I am very sure of the time of year this study came out, and I am very sure of the "one out of ten" numbers because I had just gotten my tenth mammogram days before this study hit the airwaves of the radio station where I work.

One out of ten.

And I had just gotten my tenth.
Huh.
What a coincidence.

Let me tell you, after ten mammograms, you kinda get an idea how mammograms go.  You get used to what happens and how it happens.
So, while I am NOT a medical technician of any sort, I kinda know if the mammogram tech hasn't quite squished things to the extent of nine previous mammograms.  But, because I am not a medical technician of any sort, I do not say anything during the procedure.

I say this because here we are in the middle of November, and after nine years of consistantly receiving a letter in the mail shortly after a mammogram stating, "You're fine. Go away", I am now still waiting for my tenth letter to arrive.

Tuesday morning, I called my doctor's office to ask where my letter is.
"Oh. There's no notation here that says a letter got sent."  And then, "The doctor is out until Thursday.  I'll have him call you first thing."

No letter.
No one can tell me what's going on besides my doctor himself... even though the nurses have, in the past, been more than happy to tell me without consulting the doctor when my tests have been negative.
You know what that means, right?

Methinks one out of ten mammograms is upon us.

If my doctor says "something" appeared on my xrays, I'm going to protest.
I'm going to demand another mammogram at the clinic's expense as soon as it's safe to have one.

***

Furthermore...
IF it turns out there is something, and...
IF it turns out it's cancer...
(Two big "ifs", there.  Two BIG "ifs".)
...everything will be just fine.

Because I know someone who can make me some rockin' awesome chemo hats.  :-)

I will let you know what's up as soon as I hear it myself.