Monday, January 04, 2010

When the voices in my head speak out of turn

I didn't mean to say it out loud...

Following our visit to the mother-in-law this weekend (which reminded me again why I needed her to move out of our house after eight years... and honestly, I had forgotten that along with her constant complaining she is also very selfish and self-centered), we were sitting around the table with the husband's sister who had also been to visit the woman recently.

The mother-in-law had been in fine form during both our visit and sister-in-law's visit... focusing on a gripe not letting it go until everyone in the room was satisfactorily as appalled as she was. To the point of repeating the complaint word for word. Several times. 

The Husband was very skillful at changing topics with her.  Every time she revved up a new complaint, he'd immediately talk about something else.

So this is what came up in conversaton at sister-in-law's house.
"She's okay," The Husband began to tell his sister, "if you can get her off..."
"... your property!" I finished.
"... topic. Get her off topic, is what I was going to say."



P.S.  I don't know why I never noticed it before, but the mother-in-law has never had pictures of family anywhere in her living area.  Not when she lived alone, not when she lived with us, and not where she is now.  Elder Son sent her a photo of himself recently, and it was nowhere to be seen.  But, there were no other "people" photos either.  Not.  One.
What does that mean?  Really, I want to know.


Andy said...

Roses, it may mean that she is so self-centered, and selfish that she doesn't want to be reminded that others are not.

I don't know if that makes sense. If she does not see "herself" in her children, or their spouses, she may just rather not have the reminder of a photo staring her in the face.

Just a thought. And, thank God that her son did not follow down Momma's path!

Dani said...

I had a friend who refused to put up photos in her home. She thought they made it look cluttered. But she kept them in photo albums where she could appreciate them.

Personaly I don't agree. I have gazillions of photos up of family, friends, pets, a flower I thought looked pretty, and one of Dave's parents old house with snow on it.

I supose it's a matter of taste.....or she's selfish.

Thumper said...

Emotionally disconnected...? I'm just guessing.

Though, I don't have pictures up either. But that's only because I'm too lazy to get the hammer and nails out and hang them up...

Roses said...

Dani and Thumper: The photo album makes sense, as does the lack of energy to find a hammer.

However, the woman has her walls covered with happy thoughts. "Bad times don't last but good people do" kind of things. If Robert Schuller said it, she's got it on her wall. They're plastered across the walls and all over the bulletin board she has.
So, she can find and use a hammer just fine.

And she doesn't have a photo album.
I'm guessing she throws all the photos away.

A granddaughter once spent time and money putting together a calendar with different family photos on each month's page.
The mother-in-law never even hung it up. She preferred her bank calendar.

I hadn't seen her in a long while. But apparently it doesn't take much of her to make me an angry person all over again.

Nikia, May and da kids said...

Roses I didn't know you knew my MIL and Mother. Seriously. bwahahahahahaha.


Dani said...

Her loss. What a sad existence she must lead. Sad as in "looser" not sad as in we should feel sorry for her.