Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Bordeaux Cherry Chocolate: A Love Story

The husband and I were married in the spring of 1992.
We spent a week at DisneyWorld and the following weeks just being blissfully in love.

We often walked to the grocery store together, hand in hand.
"After you!" "Oh, no, after you. I insist!" "Do you like this brand?" "This is new, let's try it together."
Smoochy, smoochy, smoochy.

Disgusting, I know.
You get the picture.

It was during one of these nauseating shopping trips that the earth shifted on its axis and the world would never be the same again.
We were standing in the frozen foods section, deciding on an ice cream flavor to take home, when the heavens opened and the angels sang. And the hymn they sang was titled:

Blue Bunny Bordeaux Cherry Chocolate

We lifted it from the shelf, and it glowed.
We carried it through the store, aloft between us like the Olympic torch.
It hummed in the plastic bag as we carried it home.

It was heaven.
It was bliss.
It was gone before we knew it. (I'm not sure we even bothered to dish it out choosing instead to eat it straight out of the box with spoons.)

We went back for more.
And more.
Sometimes we'd pick another flavor in addition to it, but always we made sure to have some in the house.

That day.

Dark clouds gathered over the grocery store.
An ill wind began to blow.

The husband opened the freezer case where the Bordeaux Cherry Chocolate had always been.
He reached in...
And gasped!

It was gone!
In its place was an inferior imposter: Lemon Berry Pound Cake

Devil ice cream, begone!

"Do you wanna try this one?"
"Noooo! I want the Bordeaux!"
::sniff:: "Me, too."

The honeymoon was over.
The Bordeaux was no more.

We mourned for months.
On every visit, we wistfully looked into the freezer case, not really believing, but hoping maybe we'd simply overlooked it, or perhaps the Bordeaux had only been moved...
But no...
It was really gone.


On our one year anniversary, we remembered our trip to Disney, our insanely blissful first weeks as newlyweds, and the Bordeaux.
Ah, the ~Bordeaux~...
"Remember how wonderful it was?" "Yes, dear, it was the best." "Sometimes, I miss it."


So, imagine our joy and disbelief on that undeniable day of rapture when, poking half-heartedly through the frozen foods we discovered, wonder above wonder, the ~Bordeaux~ had returned!

Only this time, we were enlightened...
And when the angels sang, we heard the evil chorus:

Seasonal Flavor

And a month later, again, the Bordeaux was gone.


My friends, it is May.
*This* is the season of the Bordeaux.
There is order in my universe.


Richmond said...

Mmmmmm.... Bordeaux. Sounds like my kind of ice cream. ;)

oddybobo said...!

Thumper said...

At least you can count on getting it seasonally. It seems like things I REALLY like disappear, never to return again.

WTF can't CA have caffeine free diet Mt. Dew???? WHY???? Ohio has it, and we're BETTER THAN OHIO!

Mrs. Who said...

Caffeine free diet Mt. Dew? Ain't that just water?

DogsDontPurr said...

Ooof! I better not go looking for that ice cream, because it will be discontinued forever. *Everything* I touch gets discontinued. When ever I find some new good thing, be it hair gel or frozen food, my boyfriend jokes that it will be discontinued. I'm seriously cursed! My favorite things are *always* discontinued!

Don't worry, though, I'll leave your ice cream alone. I don't even think they sell it here.

Christina said...


So, how long does ice cream keep in the freezer...if one were to stock up?

; )

Roses said...

Christina: It lasts one day.

Priscilla said...

Ah yes! I hear the angels singing. Me loves the Bordeaux as well. Only here, in CA, we have it all year round. Thats right! It's an Albertsons brand although Thrify's is much better, this Albertsons bordeaux is very very good. I've turned my parents on to it so I can have it whenever, wherever.

So, when you moving?

Roses said...

Priscilla: I'll be staying at your house for a few months later this summer. Hope that's not inconvenience. (P.S. I'll need spoons.)