Friday, April 18, 2008

Other Random Stuff

I got one of those e-mails from a dying woman who was called by God to give me all her money. And all I'd have to do is respond and let her know I'm interested... and include my bank account information.

I replied:

Mom! Quite giving away my inheritance!
Don't you love me anymore?

***

Back when I was a stay-at-home-mom, I was home late in the morning when the high school kids walked across the neighborhood to their charter school. One particular day, it was raining hard. The street was flooded, and visibility was poor.

Suddenly, I heard shouting.
A lone teen boy was making his way up the sidewalk. Sopping wet. No hat. Soggy sneakers. Jeans plastered to his legs. I couldn't see this, but I knew it. You could tell.
I felt bad for him, so I retrieved an umbrella from the closet and opened the front door.
I was going to offer to let him stand inside for a minute or two in the hopes that the rain might let up, and/or offer him the umbrella for the rest of his walk.
But when I opened the door, I heard what he was shouting.
"F**K THIS, MAN! F**K THIS!"

Needless to say, he didn't get invited in.
And he didn't get an umbrella.

***

Can I just say that Hillary has as much "White House experience" as Nancy Reagan does?
And Laura Bush.
Thank you.

***

The morning after the heavy rain previously mentioned, the husband and I were listening to the continuing storm beating on the roof. As loud as the rain was, we could still hear birds singing and chirping their little lungs out. They were very vocal this morning.

"I wonder what those birds are thinking about this rain," the husband mused.
"I know," said I. "They're saying, 'F**K THIS, MAN!"

***

It's a very scary thing when you discover, through a MySpace page, that someone you fear has moved into your area.
In my case, she's a knife-wielding, psycho woman who often forgets to take the meds that tell her to put the knife down.

Ack.

6 comments:

HapKiDo said...

There was plenty of humor in this post until the psycho lady at the end managed to cut (sorry) through the comedic display with her craziness.

Richmond said...

Oh no - we don't need any more crazy here. We're all full up as it is!

Lee Ann said...

Crazy quote full until M-I-L moves on. Nothing to see here people, keep moving.

Bob said...

I had some snappy lines, but that last one kinda kills the humor. Do be careful out there.

Mrs. Who said...

Just remember, don't bring a liberal to a knife fight.

And get signs that point to the biting-dog's owner's house that read, 'They are the voices that you hear'.

Bou said...

My Dad says the extent of Hillary's White House experience is that of the other First Ladies'... picking out the White House Christmas card.