Thursday, August 09, 2007

Random Anger

Anger is ugly.

The pretty blonde in the red sports car in front of me blared her horn at the vehicle two cars in front of her that failed to move when the light turned green.
As traffic started to move, she engaged in much arm waving. When she turned to complain to her passenger, her face was magenta, her eyebrows were knit together, and her teeth were bared. Yelling. Pointing. Gesturing.

Definitely looking very wrinkly, old, and white trash, suddenly.

And I thought, "Wow. Yesterday, that was me."

I'm feeling much prettier today.


President Bush called a media conference today.
Our station aired it. For half an hour.
During the reporters' question segment, we left the White House broadcast and resumed our regular programming.

Studio phone rings.
"Can YOU tell me..."
(which is always a nice greeting and makes me feel all warm and fuzzy and willing to be of kind service, by the way)
"...why your station is not carrying the President's speech. In. Its. Entirety?"

"We did carry his whole speech," I explained...
(because this is what he asked me to do, right? Please tell him why we weren't carrying all of the President's speech. That is what he asked of me, isn't it?)
"...He's done with his speech and is answering questions..."



This is where both you and I think to ourselves, "Then watch your freaking TV and leave me alone, jerk."

But what I said outloud was, "Let me put you through to our program director."
And I sent the angry little turd away.

If you ask me a question, don't scream at me when I answer it.

I know your voice (Bob).
You're lucky I don't just hang up on you without saying a word everytime you call.
You're never happy.
You inspired this list.


As Eric Forman on That 70's Show once said:
"God, what did you have for breakfast this morning? Carnation Instant Bitch?"

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