Thursday, July 05, 2007

All Thumbs

Being patriotic, we lit things on fire last night.
Little sparkly, poppy, smoky things that didn't defy any local ordinances.
(read: we are cheap bastards)
It was fun, nonetheless.

But, by the time we finished, the only person in the house who did not have a burned thumb was me.
All three of my boys were nursing a wound.

Because we lit our ordnance with good old fashioned Bic lighters.
Not one of those long-nosed charcoal lighters.
(remember: we are cheap bastards)
Bic lighters we bought 3 for a buck.
Lighters that had flames so small you could barely see them in the pitch dark.

And when you are holding said lighter in front of a fuse that will emit sparks as soon as it catches fire, you get a charred thumb in the deal.

On the other hand (ha ha), I don't have a burned thumb because I held the cheapo lighter to the side of the fuses I lit instead of in front of them.

We have a saying in the AckThbbbt house:
"A smart man learns from his mistakes.
A wise man learns from another man's mistakes."

As everyone sat around the breakfast table with a thumb in each mouth, I gloated, "Who's the wise man today, huh? Who's the wise man?"

My two thumbs pointing at me, baby!


HapKiDo said...

Somehow you manage to capture a subtle humor in a way I can't quite grasp. That's funny stuff!

Roses said...

Hapkido: Perhaps you could grasp it better if you had my extraordinary thumbs!

::runs away cackling::

Richmond said...

Ha! You are the wise one today...

I just make WxMan light everything. ;)

Roses said...

Richmond: Ah! Then you are even wiser than I am! :)

HapKiDo said...

You know, I REALLY didn't intend to use humor in that least not so on-the-nose, anyway.

You may continue to cackle uncontrollably without fear of tomato-based retribution! :-P

chlorinejenny said...

I just don't get the whole set everything on fire because it is a holiday thing.

I don't mind fireworks, but I just regret going because of the mosquitos!

I'm kind of a humbug that way.