Thursday, May 24, 2007

Why Summer is Depressing (for me)


My name is Roses.

And I have a problem with summer.

My problem is, I have to work through it, and my kids don't.

Now I know what you're thinking:
Oh, Roses, you're just jealous!

I'm depressed.
Because I have to walk away from my kids everyday knowing that all the stuff they want to do on their day off, they can't do because I'm not there.
Can't go swimming.
Can't go to the bigger playground in the next town.
Can't suggest something off the top of their heads and run and go do it.

I'm not depressed because *I* can't go.
I'm sad to the depths of my heart because there's no one to take them.
*They* don't get to enjoy their summer, either.

A couple summers ago, a lovely SAHM offered to take the boys for half days.
She took them everywhere!
They even delivered Meals on Wheels.
And the other half of the day, they got to be home with their own toys, snacks, and computer games.

That was a GOOD summer.

The worst summer was last year.
Because on the first day of it, on my way to work, I swung by the school to drop off one last piece of homework for one of the boys. As I left, the teacher called to me, "Have a nice summer!"
A nice summer, she says.
As I was on my way to work.

And just hours later, when I lamented to some friends how sad I felt, one "friend" who is a teacher threw it back in my face with a big, fat, unsympathetic HA HA HA!

Did she really mean it? Dunno.
Did it hurt? Hell, yeah.

Working people have no summer.
Every day is like the last one.
The next three months, except for the weather, will be the same as the last three.
Oh yeah, and there's the child abandonment. That's different.

And the teenager I'm paying to fall asleep on my couch as the boys run around the house.
Yeah, that's always nice, too.

Enjoy my summer. Indeed.
It's one long f*cking summer of depression.

And I know this is my own problem.
It's no fault of anyone.
It's all me.

I truly hope your summer is nice.
I do.
Go do stuff. Have fun.

I'll be home around 6:30pm.


Richmond said...

If it helps, know that I will be moving all summer. Moving out. Moving in. Moving.all.summer.

Except for the part where we'll be homeless... Gah.

Party at my place in September!!

Mrs. Who said...

I hate that for're only trying to do what's best for your kiddos and it's like life is laughing at you.

Is summer camp possible instead of paying a teenager? YMCA often has some good programs.

Maranda Rites said...

Going off what Mrs. who said, I read your 10 year old is in scouts. Do they have any scout camps in the summer in your area for him?

I know my near 10 year old son loves his scout camp.

jaj said...

That sucks.

I work at home and usually we don't do anything with the boys either...

Roses said...

Maranda: Yes. Our scouts have day camps and weekend camps, but no "drop him off for a week" camps.
With day camp, we have issues with transportation.
And I have issues with teens driving my kids... especially teens that fall asleep on my couch. (Grrrr!)
Usually, they have trouble finding parents to drive to and from, go figure.

jaj: Before I went back to work, we mostly hung around the house, too. But on the days when the boys wanted to do something different, we could go.
I can see what you're saying, though. There are not all that many days that they want to leave the computer games and TV, anyway.

Tink said...

You're doing the best you can and at least you realize they probably won't want to leave the computer and tv; so make the weekend memorable ones. If not for them, then for you.