Saturday, November 25, 2006

Thankgiving in Review

1) No one asked us to pick up the mother-in-law and drive her to the family's Thankgiving dinner. (Yay!)

2) The husband and I discussed it, and we both agreed that while neither one of us wanted to do it, it would be wrong if we didn't at least offer to bring her. (Drat!)

3) She didn't wanna come. (Yay!)

4) But since we drive by just two blocks from her place, we told her we'd stop in. (Drat!)

5) She never mentioned the envelope. (Yay!)

6) She sent home Christmas gifts. (Drat!)

You see, the mother-in-law gives goofy gifts.
Usually things she wants us to have, but not necessarily what we want to have.
Like recipe books. Because I don't cook.
And stuff she orders through catalogs but doesn't like the quality when she gets it, so she gives it away. As a gift. Because it wasn't good enough for her.

And there's a sister-in-law that gives away used things.
Not regifted, things. Used things.
She was at dinner.
She gave us gifts, too.

At least we were not expected to open the gifts in their presence, and therefore lay claim to whatever odd items we might have gotten. Instead, we were trusted to take the gifts home and put them under the tree until Christmas...

The husband and I have learned to open the surprises and weed out the really weird stuff before putting anything under the tree.
Here are some examples of Christmas gifts past:

1) the two Star Trek hardcover books the boys received this year.
Neither of the boys like Star Trek. The city library will get those.

2) the rusted, flat-tired unicycle that had been stored in a horse barn for 20 years.

3) the rummage sale sweatshirt I got several years ago with a logo of a college I never went to.

4) two remote control monster trucks with rechargable battery packs built in. "You'll have to charge the batteries first," we were instructed... because the people at the rummage sale had told the sister-in-law to do it five months earlier and let them know if the trucks still worked.
Yeah.
One battery pack never charged. Dead truck. The other truck ran exactly one and a half times across the livingroom before the front axle broke and the wheel rolled away. Another dead truck.
Thanks for the gift. Your nephews thought it was great and weren't disappointed at all.

5) the Toss-Across tic-tac-toe game from the early 70's (no, not a new remake of the game... we got the yellowed, stored-in-the-attic original) that didn't come with bean bags. That's right; Toss Across with nothing to toss.

6) the nephew's old kick boxing pads. 'kay. Who kick boxes here? No one.
Thanks.

It's like that scene in "Christmas Vacation" where the older aunt shows up with a gift-wrapped box that contains her cat.
You never know what's gonna be in the box.

So, we have a tradition of opening gifts from the in-laws ahead of time in order to throw out the truly weird and useless items.

Is it just me who's lucky this way?
Or have you received completely inappropriate gifts?

If so, please share...

8 comments:

sticks said...

It's the thought that counts.......right? No, I haven't gotten gifts like that but you can't trust boxes with my family. You have to open the box because it will not match what is inside.

Roses said...

sticks: You mean, like the DVD box will really have a sweater in it... with a brick for weight?

Richmond said...

Hehe. At least you get to pre-view coming attractions this year. :-) That's good...

Tink said...

Can't say that I have ever had that problem. The closest I have gotten is last year when my mil gave me some hummels that she purchased 20-30 years ago. I'm not even going to complain about that one.

Oddybobo said...

So what'd ya'll get this year? I usually get clothes that are really really small - but other than that . . .

Mrs_Who said...

What about lingerie from your mil because she wants grandchildren...that's just weird opening that one in front of the family and she explains why...

Roses said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Roses said...

Richmond: Is it wrong that I enjoy finding really kooky stuff just so I can blog about it?

oddybobo: This year isn't all that bad. For one thing, there are fewer presents. For another, everything seems to have all its parts.

That reminds me of the year the SIL wrapped up a wooden puzzle map of the United States with at least 20 states missing.
Hello?

Mrs_Who: That's just icky.
::shiver::