Monday, November 27, 2006

The Smartest Man in the World

Last week, the husband bought for me one of those giant Hershey bars. You know, the ones roughly the size of a small dinner plate. He said it was "safer" if there was some chocolate in the house at all times, "just in case".
So, we hid the chocolate bar away where the children couldn't find it.

But, this is not why he is the smartest man in the world.

A couple of days ago, I went hunting for that candy.
However, knowing that once I'd opened the wrapper, the husband would also help himself to my chocolate, I carefully slid the foil-covered bar out of the paper Hershey sleeve, unfolded one end of the foil wrapper, slid out a row of Hershey squares and snapped it off, folded the foil carefully back over the candy, tucked it back into the paper sleeve. And of course, I put the bar back in its hiding spot with the unopened end showing, just so on first glance, it still looked untouched.

The next day, I went to sneak another piece.
But, the wrapper was mangled and another row of squares was missing.
"You cracked my secret code, eh?" I accused the husband.
"Mm hm," he replied through a mouthful of chocolate.

Mm hm, indeed.

Last night.
I needed chocolate.
And remembering the husband's fateful words, "It's safer to have some chocolate in the house, just in case" I head for the secret chocolate hiding place. After all, this is why he bought the chocolate in the first place, right?


The paper sleeve is missing!
The foil is crumpled into a ball!

I grab this sorry excuse for a candy bar from its hiding place and peel the foil apart.
There is one square left.

One beautiful, shiny, proud square.

At this moment, the husband walks past.

"You are the smartest man in the world," I tell him.
"Because you didn't eat the last piece of chocolate."

But, this, also, is not the reason he's the smartest man in the world...

Because he burst out laughing.
"Did Elder Son tell you that?"

Tell me that? I wondered. No, I just told you.

Reading the puzzled look on my face, the husband summonded Elder Son from the other room.
"Son, what lesson did you learn about women today?"
Without a pause, the boy recited in a classroom voice, "Never take a woman's last piece of chocolate."

This time, I laughed out loud.

Apparently, the boys had caught their father sneaking chocolate today. He felt guilty and let them have some. As it was, there were only four squares left to divide up.
"We have to save this last piece for your mother," the husband explained. "Because you never take a woman's last piece of chocolate. Remember that, boys."

And they remembered.

That's why he's the smartest man in the world.


Lemon Stand said...

Yup, he's a keeper! That is too funny.

Richmond said...

Oh good call! :-)

Mrs_Who said...

Raising those boys right! Their future wives will appreciate that very much.

Roses said...

Of course, NOW I don't have any chocolate left...