Thursday, June 16, 2011

"Just because you're paranoid, doesn't mean they're not out to get you."

I took advantage of the cool, quiet morning to pull weeds out of my landscaping.  There was barely a sound aside from the happy chirping of song birds and the occasional gentle jingle of the neighbors dog's collar as he rolled over on his porch.
While I crouched in the bushes, there was a disturbance on the street one block over.  Crows began to squawk, dogs howled and whined in an odd way.  I made a passing note of it, but went about my business.
Then another dog a little closer began to bark.  You could almost mark the progression of something moving through the neighborhood as the animals stirred.

It wasn't until the neighbor's dog started to growl that I became alarmed.  No longer lounging on his porch, he had traveled the extent of his yard chain and was focused intently on something coming up the street.  His growls were low and menacing.
I saw nothing.
But, I made note of how long it might take me to reach the safety of the garage if some beast suddenly burst around the corner of my house.

I looked at the neighbor's dog.
Looked up the street.

Finally, there was movement. 
Someone walking.
Not running.  Not darting to and fro. 
Walking slowly... on the sidewalk.
Scary, bully person? I wondered.  Dogs could sense that, right?
How quickly could I get to the garage?  I have no weapons.  Not even an trowel to poke him with.

It was a woman.
And a short one, at that.
A woman walking a dog.
Scary, bully dog?  Pitbull?  Something with big jaws and a flat forehead?

Uh... no.
Fluffy white poodle.

A freakin' fluffy white poodle.

We said hello as she passed.
"The way all the neighborhood dogs reacted," I gestured to her pooch, "I expected someone much bigger."
She laughed, "I know!  He acts the same way when dogs walk past our house, too."


Seonaid Divine said...

So funny! I was expecting some perv on the loose. :)
~xo Seonaid

Dani said...

Our dogs do the same thing. They ignore the pandamonium of the school across the street but if someone is walking their dog quietly up the street they go to the edge of the yard and let loose.

I think it's the doggy version of "Oh no you di'int"

Moogie P said...

My black lab, Bouie, does the same thing, but stealthier. He likes to stalk them from behind the fence and holly hedges as they stroll unsuspectingly down the sidewalk, then pop up ar the corner with his most ferocious woofage. I've seen people literally jump up into the air like cartoon characters.

Someday we're gonna get sued.

Bou said...

I was expecting something out of a Stephen King novel the way you described it! Dogs are so funny. As much as we want one, I can't do that with three funny boys. I already have too many mammals in this house...

Roses said...

Bou: I know, right? I was totally getting worked up into a Stephen King-like frenzy.

Freakin' poodle.