Friday, August 07, 2009

Friday Five - Temptations

Five things I've been tempted to do but haven't... yet:

1) Honk at people talking on their cell phone while they're driving. Not because they're driving poorly, but just to freak out the person on the other end.
"What's going on?!? Are you gonna crash? Maybe you should get off the phone."

2) When some boob driving the car pool pulls into the driveway at the house up the street and honks the horn, I wanna run over and hop in the backseat.
"What? You honked. We all heard it. I assumed you wanted us all to come."

3) Wait through the telemarketing schtick, press "1" to speak to an operator, and say, "I'm so glad you called about satellite service! My TV was repossessed this morning! How does this work when I don't have a TV? Do you send me one?"

4) Jump out of my car at the intersection, pick up the gum/candy wrapper/cigarette butt which the very-nice-but-too-busy-to-properly-dispose-of-his/her-trash-this-one-time person in the car ahead of me just flicked out, and hand it back.
"You dropped this. I'm sure you didn't want to pay the littering fine... since I have seen your license plate number and have a cell phone to notify the police. All these nice people in the cars behind us who are craning their necks to see why we're not moving are all witnesses. Have a nice day."

5) Your turn... Is there something you've always been tempted to do?


Rave said...

I get in the elevator and face the back..towards the people. TOO FUNNY to watch the people try NOT to look at you.

And when the bell dings that you've reached your destination, I exclaim, 'Ladies wear, men's wear, Childrens Pajama's."

Pizza Girl said...

I'm always tempted to stead a slice of pizza when a customer orders something delicious and only tips $1.

The Gray Monk said...

I'd love to do what a friend once did after delivering a new jet fighter. He boarded a commercial flight to go back to his base wearing his flight overall and a parachute with his holdall and wandered up the aisle saying "I don't trust these things - do you?" I'm told a couple of passengers got off.

Harvey said...


Bob said...

I'm going with Rave's idea, but we could encourage everyone else in the crowded elevator to sing "Row, Row, Row Your Boat."

Or what do you think? Would In the Jungle be better? "You folks in the back, together now: 'A-weem-a-wip a-weem-a-wip' ..."