Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Choices

Radio legend: Some radio broadcaster years ago, when a listener complained about his programming, said, "There are two knobs on your radio, one that changes the stations and one that turns it off."

Translation: If you don't like what you are hearing, you have many choices. One of those choices is to listen to nothing.

***

The mother-in-law lived with us for eight years.
About the third or fourth year, I started visiting a message board for women who needed help dealing with mothers-in-law. I learned a few things fast.
1) Those women are angry and mean.
2) No matter what, the mother-in-law is always wrong.
3) No matter how bad your mother-in-law is, someone else will one-up you.
4) If you live with your mother-in-law, you are stupid and get exactly what you asked for. So, shut up and go away.

Yeah.
Supportive, that.

One poor woman posted for help dealing with her live-in in-law and they were on her like jackals on a wounded rabbit.
Within minutes, reply posts were flaming.
"How stupid are you?"
"I'd never be stupid enough to let my MIL set foot in my house much less invite her to stay."
"You made your bed, now lie in it."
By the time I read her post, she was surely never coming back. Ever.

Truly, the anger was that acrid.
The attack was simply unbelievable considering these women all came together because they were all hurting in the first place. And for the same reasons.

This is the reply I left:

I applaud you for keeping the commitment you made to your mother-in-law when you agreed to take her in. I am guessing she didn't show her true colors until she had grown more comfortable with you. You are not foolish for taking her in; you are not stupid for not throwing her out.
You and I will someday be free of our mothers-in-law, whether they move out or expire. You and I, when that day comes, will not live with guilt.

And, if the stars are with us and the old bat moves out before she dies, you and I will never have to visit this message board again because you and I would never be stupid enough to allow the mother-in-law back into our home... as so many women here do... nor will you and I travel any distance to visit her... as so many women here do... and if you and I choose to answer the phone when we know it is her, we will pass the phone directly to her son... unlike so many women here.

So. Who is stupid?

You and I made one unfortunate choice.
They make the same bad choices day after day.
I know they do. They come here to complain every time.

***

So.
If you are tired of hearing bad news day in and day out, remember, there are two knobs on your radio...

2 comments:

Rave said...

That's what I'm sayin!! You have two knobs....one you can turn, and the one shoved up your arse!

Dani said...

You know every message board I've ever tried out has been full of angry/rude people. I wonder why that is.